Shattered
by JessicaBrennan
Summary: A/U-Tris Prior and Tobias Eaton grew up together and then one day he left her. The years went by and then one day the past caught up with her.
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N-So a friend wanted this, so here it is. There will be some angst-Angela's fault.)**

 ***FLASHBACK** *

Summer 2008

"What the hell do you mean, you enlisted?" Tris Prior couldn't catch her breath. It felt like the ground had just been pulled out from under her. Her best friend, the person she had grown up next to her entire life, just informed her that he had enlisted in the Marine Corps. This couldn't be happening.

"Tris, baby, it's okay," Tobias Eaton told her in a consolatory tone. "It's just the Marines. It's not the end of the world." She didn't understand how he could be so casual. She was terrified.

"Are you out of your friggin' mind?!" She screeched. "We're in the middle of a war, Tobias! You just signed up to go over to a war-ravaged county and potentially lose your life in the process. Please explain to me how that isn't the end of the world?" If anything were to ever happen to Tobias, it would be the end of her world. She had no doubt about that. It felt like someone had reached inside her chest and was squeezing her heart.

Tobias grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into his chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist and inhaled his familiar scent, letting it calm her frayed nerves. Tobias had always done that for her. He'd always been her peaceful place when things got too rough. She couldn't imagine what her life would be like with him not in it. She couldn't think it. "Baby, I know you're mad right now, but this is something I just have to do," he said as he ran his hand down the back of her head. She knew he needed her blessing to feel good about his decision, but this was the first time in her life she had trouble giving it to him. She wanted to be selfish and scream at him that he couldn't do this… that she couldn't support him. But she didn't. She knew this meant a lot, and she wouldn't take that away from him.

"Why, Tobias?" She needed to understand. She pulled her head away from his chest and looked up into his blue eyes. She could see the emotion running through them and knew exactly what he was feeling before he even said anything.

Letting out a deep sigh, he responded, "I just do." Dropping his arms from around her, he ran his hands through his browb hair, sending it into a disarray that would have looked messy on anyone else, but always managed to look sexy on him. "I can't stay here any longer. You just graduated and will be leaving for college soon. What's left for me after you're gone?" She knew her leaving was weighing on him, but she honestly had no clue that he was taking it that hard. They had grew up living next to each other in a smaller town not too far from Chicago. He and his parents moved in three houses away from her when he was six, and even though he was two years older than her, they'd instantly become friends and had been inseparable ever since.

The two of them had been through more than any person our age should ever have to go through, and they both managed to get through it with the help of each other. It was her window he would climb through when he had to sneak out of his house at night to get away from his parents' screams as they fought with each other. It was her who would bandage up his cuts and wipe away the blood when his dad drank too much and took his anger out on Tobias. Tris hated his father with a passion and had no respect for his mother. She allowed Tobias to be abused for all those years and did nothing to stop him.

He was the shoulder she cried on for months when she lost both of her parents in a car accident when she was only thirteen. Her parents were the complete opposite of Tobias'. For all the bad they did, her mother and father tried to counter with acts of kindness. They took Tobias under their wing without question, just accepted him as her best friend. She adored them both whole heartedly and when they passed, she never got that piece of her heart back.

Even though her grandmother moved into our house in order to raise Tris, it was Tobias that she went to whenever she felt like life was a weight too heavy for her to carry on her own. She could always count on him to help lift her burdens.

So while the idea of him not being a car ride or a phone call away felt like a knife in her gut, she understood. She knew that the only reason he hadn't left his drunk of a mother was because she was still here, three houses away. Now that she was going to be four hours away attending college, she knew Tobias viewed this as his chance to get out of their little town and finally make something of himself. That didn't mean it didn't hurt any less. His leaving was going to hurt almost as much as losing her parents. That's how close they were. The consolation she had was that he'd at least come back to her.

"I understand," Tris finally conceded, even though she didn't want to. "But I swear to God, Tobias Eaton, if you get dead, I am so going to kick your ass."

His deep chuckle rumbled through her as he pulled her back into his strong arms for another hug. "No worries, Tris Prior. I promise you, I won't get dead."

"I'm gonna hold you to that, you know." She smiled up at him for the first time since they had started their conversation. Just looking into his eyes made her feel a little lighter—took away some of the anxiety she was feeling… but not all of it.

"I'd expect nothing else, baby."

It had been a week since Tobias dropped the bomb that he'd joined the Marines, and it was only a few days until he left to start basic training. She was counting down each hour and trying not to throw up at the thought of him getting hurt. Tris was with her friend Christina trying to keep her mind off of all things Tobias and military related, which was much harder than she thought it would be. She was supposed to be helping her pack up her closet and throw out all the junk she wouldn't need to bring to their dorm room when they left for college. But instead, she found herself lying back with her head hanging off her bed, staring into space and getting a massive blood rush to her brain.

"You know, if I'd known you were just going to lay on your fat ass and not help pack, I would've asked Will to help me. At least he's nicer to look at." She stuck her tongue out at Tris and threw a balled-up pair of socks at her head.

Tris laughed and threw them back at her, hitting her right between the eyes. "First of all," she replied, sitting up to look at her friend, "my ass isn't fat. It's JLo-esque." She let out a snort at her comment even though she knew Tris was right. She had an awesome booty.

"Secondly, I am so much better looking than Will." Christina and Will had been an item since Freshman year of high school. To say their relationship was tumultuous was an understatement. The two of them fought more than anyone she'd ever met, but when things were good between them, it was like no one else in the world existed. Things were good at the moment, but that could change quicker than Christina switched out shoes. And she had a lot of shoes.

"This is true," she said with a snicker. "But at least Will puts out. You're just a tease."

"Touché," Tris replied, then fell back to her bed and stare up at her ceiling again. She was trying her hardest to pull herself out of the funk Tobias' leaving was creating, but it was just so damn hard.

"Seriously, Tris, get the hell up and help me pack, or I'm not gonna be your roommate."

She let out an annoyed groan as she dragged herself off her bed. "Fine. But I don't want to hear you bitching if some of your shoes just happen to disappear. You don't need this many pairs anyway." Tris reached into Christina's closet, pulled out her favorite pair of black and white Chuck Taylors, and proceeded to stuff them into her purse. She just rolled her eyes at her and kept packing. Tris loved Christina, and the two of them had been close since the second grade, but the chick had a serious shoe hoarding problem. Not that she was one to complain since she got to reap the benefits of her little obsession and all.

"So when's Tobias heading out?" She could hear the concern in her friend's voice. She knew how difficult the thought of being away from Tobias was for her. Christina was her best girlfriend, and she completely understood the bond that she and Tobias shared.

"Day after tomorrow," She mumbled. Just thinking about it depressed her and brought back that deep ache in her chest.

"It'll all work out, Tris, you'll see. What with modern technology and all, you guys will be able to communicate at the click of a button. It's not like you'll be using carrier pigeons or smoke signals."

Tris let out a laugh and threw a shoe at her head. "Smartass." she appreciated her trying to cheer her up a little, but Tris knew she wasn't pulling it off as well as she'd hoped,

"I know this is tough, but the two of you can email and write letters and Skype. Trust me. It'll be like he's right there." She looked back at her with a genuine smile, making Tris feel slightly better. One of Christina's gifts was making a positive out of most situations. When she wasn't able to do that, it always helped that she was funny as hell. You couldn't help but laugh when you were around her.

"You're right. I know."

"And you're going to see him tonight, huh?"

"Yep. He's taking me out for one last dinner before he heads out." Tris was anxious about this dinner. Part of her was excited to be spending one of his last nights here with him, but it was also bittersweet. She looked down at her watch and saw it was a quarter to five. Tobias was picking Tris up at six so she needed to start getting ready. "Speaking of… I should probably book it. Gotta get gussied up." She blew her a kiss and waved her fingers at her.

"Tell him you're in love with him!" Christina called out as Tris walked out the door.

Christina had known that Tris was in love with Tobias way before Tris had. Had made her say it to her, but she had yet to tell Tobias. And tonight might be her one chance to do so. But could she do it? And risk losing their frienship?

Tobias had taken her to the only nice restaurant in town. It was fancier than her grandmother's diner but not too fancy that jeans and a nice shirt wouldn't do. They spent the entire time talking and laughing. They reminisced about their childhood and their friends. It was one of the best nights she'd had with Tobias, and as she lay in bed replaying the whole evening over and over, she couldn't help but feel the weight of his impending departure resting on her chest. They'd just spent their last night together in who knows how long. She felt like such a horrible friend for having to fake her happiness for Tobias when it came to his decision to leave. He'd always supported everything she did, and until now, she'd always supported him.

She rolled over onto her side and was starting to let the depression take over when she heard the sound of her window being lifted. When Tris glanced in the direction of the sound, she could easily make out the perfect outline of a body that she knew could only be Tobias'. She instantly tried to remember the last time Tobias had snuck through her window, but she couldn't. It had been years.

Tobias' father bailed on him and his mother soon after Tobias turned sixteen, and even though his mother never stopped drinking, the physical abuse and Tobias' need to escape his home life left with his father. She'd missed those nights they would spend together, but she was thankful that the person who made Tobias' life hell was gone.

Tris held her breath as the covers were lifted and the bed shifted under Tobias' weight. She finally released it when she felt his arm slide around her waist and pull her into the solid wall of his chest. Chest to back, they laid there for what seemed like hours. Neither of them talking, just being. Tris knew that out of everything she was going to miss about Tobias, his warmth would be what she missed the most. Tris lay silent and just let the tears flow, knowing they were inevitable. She'd managed to keep them at bay so far, but this was just too much.

"Baby, please don't cry," Tobias whispered into her hair, pulling her tighter to him.

She sucked in a breath and tried to speak around the lump in her throat. "I – I'm sorry. I'm not trying to upset you, I swear." Tris twisted in his arms so they were face-to-face. "I just didn't think I'd be this sad," She said, giving a weak smile, trying to make light of her tear-streaked face as she looked into those blue eyes. He just stared back at her, not saying a word as he ghosted his fingers across her cheek and down her neck. He'd touched her a million times in the span of their friendship, but for some reason, this seemed different. There was an intimacy in this touch that she'd never felt from him before; it caused her heart to stall before starting again at a faster pace.

She felt him take a deep breath as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I know, Tris." He spoke so softly she could barely hear.

"I feel like I'm losing a part of me, Tobias. I'm going to miss you so much."

She felt his breath shudder as if he was trying to hold back his own tears. "I'm going to miss you too, baby. More than you know. But you aren't losing me. You'll never lose me. I promise."

That did it. His promise cracked something inside her, and there was no holding back from what she did next. Her entire body was swamped with emotion that she had no chance of controlling. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled Tobias' face closer to hers and pressed her lips to his. It definitely wasn't her first kiss, but considering it was the first time with Tobias, she felt fear and hope flutter deep down in her belly. She couldn't lie and say she'd never pictured kissing Tobias before, he was one of the hottest guys she knew. She just never had the guts to pursue something other than friendship. But with him leaving, she felt a desperation she'd never experienced. The risk of damaging their friendship disappeared. She felt that if she didn't show him how she really felt at that very moment, she'd never get the chance again.

She had to kiss him. She had to know what being with him was like. There was no telling how long it would be before she saw him again, and she knew she would hate herself if she didn't at least try.

Tobias froze against her lips momentarily, but when she ran her tongue over his bottom lip, she felt his mouth open and return the kiss with more intensity than she had started with. Tris rolled onto her back and pulled his warm body on top of hers in a silent plea. Breaking the kiss, Tobias looked down into her eyes cautiously, as if he was trying to get answers without asking the questions. Afraid of him pulling away, she wrapped her arms and legs around his strong body and held tight. "Please, Tobias," she whispered. The need she felt for him was so much greater than she ever experienced before.

"Tris, we can't. You've never…" he started. It was clear he was struggling to do the right thing. She could see the war waging in his beautiful eyes, but she was determined. "Tris, honey, you deserve so much better than me. Your first time should be with somebody you love."

Tris felt the words come up before she could do anything to stop them. "I do love you, Tobias. I always have." She'd never intended to say that, but once it was out there, it just felt right. She just knew this was supposed to happen. She wanted him more than she wanted her next breath.

Tobias' entire body was like stone as he hovered above her. If she was going to get him to realize that they were meant for each other, Tris knew she had to jump. "Please, Tobias. I need you." She'd reached a point where she didn't care if she sounded desperate. Everything she was saying was completely true. She needed him more than she'd ever needed anything. She craved him.

Those were the last words either of them said to each other. They let touch say everything else that was left to say between them. As the sun was rising, her body was deliciously sore. Remembering how Tobias treated her body, like the most precious thing he'd ever come into contact with, created a deep blush that spread all over her well-loved body. It was pure bliss. What she didn't know then was that the happiness wouldn't last. The next day Tobias would tear her heart to shreds then disappear from her life for good, leaving nothing but pain and devastation in his wake. Unaware of the future, Tris fell asleep with a smile.

 **PRESENT**

Spring 2018

"Doll face, I said order up," Peter yelled from the pass-through between the kitchen and the front of the diner. It was the middle of the dinner rush and Tris had already been working since six that morning. To say her patience was wearing thin was the understatement of the century. She was three seconds away from murdering her line cook.

"Peter, if you call me doll face one more time, I'm gonna plant my size seven so far up your ass you'll be sucking my toes in reverse." She could hear the diners snickering as she laid into him but she didn't care.

"Sounds kinky," Tris heard Christina say as she breezed through the door of her diner and parked her butt on a barstool like she owned the place. "I gotta see you pull that one off, Tris."

Tris snapped her dish towel at her as she grabbed the order from Peter's window and shoved it at her. "Make yourself useful, Christina. Help me wait some of these tables."

She stared down at her manicured fingers like the idea of waitressing offended her. "Don't you have staff for that kinda thing?"

"I do," Tris responded shortly, about to turn her wrath from Peter on to her. She was already at the end of her rapidly-fraying rope. "But Tiffany called in sick. Half of my wait staff are out with the flu and I'm in the middle of dinner rush. So, please, be a good friend and wait some damn tables!" The last part of that sentence didn't come out as a request at all, and she knew it. Christina was amazing at reading her moods. She might poke the bear a time or two just for fun, but she knew not to mess with Tris when she was in bitch mode.

"All right, all right. Don't get your panties in a twist, darlin', I'll help. But I'm not waiting on Old Lady Murphy. She's a shyster and I expect good tips if I'm gonna be doing manual labor." She might occasionally annoy the ever-living crap out of Tris, but she could always count on Christina when she needed her.

"She's not a shyster. She's on a fixed income."

Christina hopped off the barstool and headed around the counter to grab an apron. "Fixed income or not, the old bat could at least tip fifteen percent. I've got a mind to spit in her coffee."

Tris chucked a scone at her head and pointed at her. "Do that and . ," she said between clenched teeth.

She gave a little chuckle and held her hands up in surrender. "Okay. Easy tiger, no sneezers for Old Lady Murphy." She walked away from Tris and quickly started waiting tables. She complained about it every time she asked for help, but she knew she secretly loved it. She's a flirt with all the male customers and a gossip with the women. The people in their town loved Christina.

The rest of the evening progressed the same as it always did. That was one of the good things about living in a small town like Abnegation, you could always count on consistency.

When Tris took over ownership of the diner four years ago, it was never her intension of staying on for the long haul. But things changed and life dealt her a hand she never expected. Tris had to pull up her big girl panties and accept the inevitable. She'd never be a lawyer or a doctor - she was a diner owner. The only thing she'd ever cure was hunger, and she was okay with that. Now. It took her a long time to get to the feeling of contentment that she now has.

"You feel like heading over to Zeke's for a few beers and some pool?" Christina asked as she wiped down the counter at the end of the night. She had just flipped the closed sign and locked the front door. The only thing Tris wanted to do was go home to her cute little house and soak in a nice hot bubble bath. Heading over to Zeke's, the town's local bar, was the furthest thing from her mind.

"Christina, if it requires me keeping this bra on, I'm gonna have to pass. I have a standing date with my bath tub and a bottle of wine."

She rolled her eyes at me, knowing this would be her answer. "Ditching the bra might help in getting you more drinks," she said with a wag of her eyebrows. "You sure you don't wanna go and take some more of Will and Uriah's money?"

"While the idea of wiping the floor with the guys in pool is appealing, the answer is still no."

"Fine, worth a shot." They headed out the back door into the parking lot, and she silently thanked God that her day was over. Tris was beyond exhausted. "You hear that Sheriff Anderson brought on a new deputy?" Christina asked as they made our way through the gravel lot.

This was the first I was hearing of getting a new deputy. "Nope. Any clue who this guy is?"

Spinning her keys around her finger, Christina answered. "No clue, but I'm hoping he's a hotty. This town needs some new eye candy."

"Only because you've worked your way through every eligible bachelor in a twenty mile radius," Tris replied with a smirk.

"Girl's gotta have her fun somehow."

Right now Will and Christina were not together, but Tris knew that wouldn't last long.

Seeing two people who care so much about one another, but can't make a relationship work, was hard enough. Both of those people being her best friends made it ten times worse.

"Anyway, I'll let you get to that bath and wine," Christina said.

She claimed that they were soul sisters and separating would be like removing the other woman's better half… Tris totally agreed. She hated that she gave up so much for her, and it took a while to get over the guilt, but she held an immense amount of love for that girl for all she had done for her. Tris couldn't have asked for a better friend than she had in Christina.

After climbing into bed later that night, Tris laid there staring up at her ceiling, thinking about the direction her life had gone in. There had been so much bad, but she managed to get through it and make it to the other side relatively unscathed. It wasn't lost on her that she did that alone. Her rock, the one person she'd always depended on, hadn't been there for me for the past ten years. Tobias might have been the person to help her through some dark times growing up, but she'd managed to pull herself through some even darker ones without him.

She repeated the mantra she'd had in her head since the day he'd destroyed her heart so long ago. She didn't need Tobias Eaton. He was no one to her.

With that, she drifted off to sleep.

Tris was in the middle of refilling Gus Dorsen's coffee the next morning when Christina came barreling through the front door of Amelia's Diner with Will, Uriah, and Al. After Tobias took off for parts unknown, they all remained tightknit. Including all those people, and a few others, Tris had a pretty awesome circle of friends that she was beyond thankful for. If it had been anyone else storming through the door, she might have been aware of the shift in the air of the diner, but Christina always did have a flare for the dramatics.

"Tris, we gotta talk," she said as she barged up to Tris.

"In a sec. Kinda in the middle of something here." Tris ignored her theatrics and continued to serve her customers.

"Seriously, Beatrice. You need to come with me, right now." She hardly ever used her full name, so that caught her attention and caused goose bumps to spread over her skin.

"What is it, Christina?" Staring at her now, she saw her worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. Her eyes cut to Will, who was busy looking at his shoes like he'd never seen work boots before. The rest of the gang refused to make eye contact. "What's going on? You guys look like someone just set fire to the animal shelter, and you have to break the news that the puppies didn't make it out." Her humor was lost on her friends. The hair on the back of her neck stood straight at their lack of reaction to her joke.

"Can you please just come with me?" Christina grabbed her hand and started pulling Tris toward the kitchen. "Like right now. I need to talk to you in the kitchen. Right. Now."

Allowing Christina to drag her to the back, coffee pot still in hand, Tris started to really freak out. It had been a long time since she'd seen her friends this distressed. She knew something was really wrong. She just didn't know what.

Glancing around the diner, she noticed that they had the attention of all the customers. Some looked intrigued by the show in front of them, others had looks of pity on their faces. What the hell is going on? Tris thought as the bell above the front door chimed, alerting her of another customer. "Take a seat anywhere," Tris said, her eyes still on Christina.

"Someone will be with you in just a sec." It wasn't lost on Tris that Christina's face had turned an unhealthy shade, and her eyes were the size of salad plates. Tris heard Uriah mumble curse words from behind her and a soft "oh no" from Al. The four of them automatically closed ranks around Tris as she turned to look at the person walking through the door of diner.

"Tris."


	2. Chapter 2

_**(A/N-Ty to Bekki for beta reading this. Also thanks to those who read, review, follow and fav this. You guys are amazing. Quick question to anyone who can answer, but does anyone know a FourTris story about Four and Tris knowing one another in Abnegation and then Four leaves to go to Dauntless and Tris eventually follows but when she meets Four she doesn't know he's Tobias that she knew. Four's friends urge him to tell her the truth, and when Tris eventually finds out she's mad at him, mad enough to make Four think she's now into Uriah? I read this story awhile back, but can't remember the name. Any help is appreciated. Happy Thanksgiving to any who celebrate it.)**_

* * *

 _Tris._

His voice had haunted her for so many years. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. Tris thought if she just kept repeating that in her head, she'd wake up from this horrible nightmare. It had to be a dream because there was no way on God's green earth he could be standing right in front of her. Life couldn't possibly be that cruel… could it? Her entire body had gone numb the minute she heard her name off his lips; all of the air had whooshed out of her lungs. She was frozen solid. That was, until she dropped the scalding hot pot of coffee she was holding, causing it to splatter all over her legs, burning the shit out of herself in the process.

"Shit!" she hollered, dancing from foot to foot. She knew she looked like a complete idiot, but she couldn't help it. That really freaking hurt. Uriah and Will immediately jumped into action, grabbing paper towels from the counter and wiping down her legs. She felt tears prickling the back of her eyes as she looked at the red splotches now covering her from knee to ankle.

If it hadn't been a million degrees outside, with a thousand percent humidity, she could have worn jeans instead of shorts and prevented second degree burns on her shins. But noooo. She was immediately pulled out of her weather-bashing trance when she felt Christina's fingers gripping her forearm. "Holy shit. Do you need to go to the hospital?"

Tris couldn't process all of the emotions raging through her at that very moment. She felt anger, fear, anxiety, and a little bit of giddiness, which just pissed her the hell off.

"No." She clipped out. "It felt fucking awesome… Of course it hurt!" Tris knew she was being a total bitch, but it was taking everything in her to keep from falling to her knees and bursting into tears like a baby, or scream at the top of her lungs. Tobias was standing right behind her. What the hell was Tobias doing standing right behind her?

Spinning around, Tris narrowed her eyes at the culprit that caused the coffee pot massacre. It had been ten years since she'd last laid eyes on Tobias Eaton, and in all those years, he'd managed to get even more attractive than he already was. Those deep, turquoise blue eyes, surrounded by dark, black lashes that would make any girl envious, bored right into her soul as he looked back at her. She might have been in meltdown mode, but it wasn't lost on her that all six feet one inches of him was looking dangerously hot in a deputy uniform. So this was the new deputy that Sheriff Anderson had hired. Perfect.

"Damn, Tris. You okay?" Tobias came rushing over to her and hunkered down to inspect the welts forming on her legs. The shock caused by his touch had her jumping back. "Don't move, Tris. Let me take a look."

Who the hell does this guy think he is? "Don't touch me," Tris whispered through clenched teeth.

"Tris, baby, please. Just let me take a look, okay? I was a field medic in the Corps. I know what I'm doing." As he reached for her leg again, it took every ounce of her energy to resist the urge to haul off and kick him square in the face.

"I said, Don't. Touch. Me." The heart-clenching pain that took her so long to get rid of was coming back full force. She was struggling to breathe and control her tears all at the same time. She felt like she was fighting a losing battle to control her own body.

"Tris," he started, but was interrupted when Christina pushed between them, all five feet three inches of her radiating so much anger she was practically vibrating. This was not going to be good.

"Look here, Special Officer Asshole. I don't give a shit if you're the goddamned Surgeon General himself. She said don't touch her, so you don't touch her!" Each word out of her mouth got louder and louder until she was yelling in his face. If Tris wasn't in the throes of a full blown anxiety attack, she might have been impressed with Christina's attempt to bow up to a guy that was over a foot taller than her and at least ninety pounds of solid muscle heavier.

Tobias slowly rose to his full height and glowered down at her friend with sheer intensity. Tris had to hand it to her, she didn't even blink.

Grabbing her arm, Will tried to intervene and calm Christina down. "Easy there," he whispered into her ear, eyes locked on Tobias the whole time like he was afraid Tobias would make a move at any moment. "Stand down, killer."

She spun around and leveled Will with a death glare so intense, Tris fully expected him to burst into flames. "Fuck that!" she screeched. "He can't just walk in here after ten years and act like he didn't do a damn thing wrong!" She spun back around to face Tobias again. "You call her baby one more time, and I'm gonna punch you so hard, you'll be shitting teeth for a week! You don't get to call her that. You aren't even worthy of breathing her air."

The scene in front of her had escalated to epic proportions. Tris was finally able to suck in enough air to kick start her brain back into action. "Enough!" she yelled. "This is a public restaurant, not a goddamned boxing ring. We are not doing this here." Tris addressed Christina first. "Honey, I know what you're doing and I love ya to pieces for it, but I got this, okay? You can retract the claws, Tiger." Tris jerked her attention over to Tobias, wishing she had laser beams in her eyes. "You need to leave. Now."

"Tris—" he started, but Tris cut him off.

"No! For ten years, I wasn't important enough to get so much as a letter from you. You don't get to roll back in to town and show up at my diner acting like nothin' happened. You haven't had a thing to say to me in ten years, and I've got nothin' to say to you now. Get the hell out, Tobias."

Tris turned her back on him, not even watching him walk out the door and turned her attention to the patrons of Amelia's. "And all of you," she addressed the crowd collectively. "Drink your coffee, and eat your breakfast. Don't act like this is the first time y'all ever seen drama here."

With that, Tris turned and headed to the office in the back of the diner. That little rant just expended all the energy she had left in her body. She had just collapsed into her office chair and begun to massage her temples when the door creaked open. She didn't open her eyes to see who it was until she heard something being placed on her desk. Looking up, she saw Uriah pouring bourbon into two shot glasses. Once full, he slid one in front of her and took the other for himself.

"Uriah, it's eight thirty in the morning. Not really the time to be pulling out the hard stuff." she said that mainly because it was how a respectable person would react to having hard liquor for breakfast.

"After the shit that just went down, Tris… I'd say now's the perfect time." Uriah was another one that she'd known for forever. Even though he'd always been closer to Tobias because his brother Zeke was also friends with Tobias, when we were teens, together they managed to form a tight bond after Tobias disappeared. Tris guesses the mutual feeling of betrayal was a good catalyst. After all, she wasn't the only one that Tobias left behind.

Picking up the shot glass, she downed the amber liquid in one gulp, reveling in the burn as it slid down her throat and settled in her stomach. "Set up another," Tris said as she slid her glass back in front of him. They both downed them at the same time. They sat in amicable silence for what seemed like forever until Uriah finally broke it with the question she never wanted to have to answer. "What are you gonna do, Tris? It's a small town. Someone's bound to let it slip."

Tris knew what he was talking about, but there was no way she would consider talking about it again. It had been so long ago and set her life on a path that she wasn't proud of. It had taken everything in her to pull herself out of the downward spiral that loss caused her. "Let 'em talk. It's not like I didn't try to get a hold of him, Uriah, you know that. He's the one that refused to respond to any of my messages." Tris poured another shot and drank. She was starting to feel the effects of the bourbon. Her breathing had slowed and her shoulders were starting to feel nice and relaxed. "I've finally got my shit together. I'm not going to let him come back and ruin everything I've worked for."

She could feel the burn of tears in the back of her throat trying to make their way out. She wasn't going to let that happen. She'd cried too many times over what Tobias had done to her. She wasn't going to cry over it anymore. Seeing her struggle to keep her emotions in check, Uriah stood and walked around the desk and wrapped her in his arms. "I know, Tris. I know. You're one tough woman, that's for damn sure, and I've got your back no matter what."

Tris squeezed him back as tight as she could. "I know, Uriah. And I love you to pieces."

They squeezed each other one more time before Uriah pulled away and left the office. It wasn't long before she remembered the burns on her legs. The drama from earlier and the alcohol had helped her to forget they were there, but when she accidentally slammed her shin against the desk drawer she was quickly reminded. "Motherfucker!"

Christina came breezing through the door with the first aid kit in her hand. "I figured you'd do something like that when Uriah told me he'd given you booze." She opened up the kit, removing gauze and burn cream. "Up you go." Holding her legs by her ankles, she lifted them onto the desk and started applying the cream. "Soooo…." She dragged out. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Nope," Tris replied dryly as she closed her eyes and laid her head back against the chair.

"Didn't figure you would, so I won't bother you." Tris knew she was full of it. That was confirmed when she continued. "But I will say this. If Deputy Douche Nozzle steps foot into Amelia's one more time, I'm gonna bust a cap right in his ass."

Tris let out a snort of laughter when she looked up at her. "Not that I don't appreciate the Ya-Ya Sisterhood solidarity and all, but you've got some crazy scary anger issues brewing right now, sister."

She let out a deep sigh, placed the cream back in the kit, and closed the lid. Tris could tell by the expression on her face that the jokes were over. It was serious Christina time. "Look, Tris. I know that growing up Tobias was always your best friend. But you were mine."

Crap, here come the tears again.

"It never upset me or anything like that, I just wanted you to know. You aren't just my best friend, you're my sister, and when you hurt, I hurt."

There was no holding them back. Those stupid tears forced their way to the surface and started trickling down her face. "You're my sister too, Christina. You're my family. You guys are all I've got."

Christina started crying too. "So then you understand… when Tobias left you the way he did, and you went through all that bullshit those first few years… Well…it killed me watching you falling deeper and deeper and not knowing how to stop it. I can't watch you go through that again."

Tris stood and pulled Christina into a tight hug. "Oh, honey. That's not going to happen again, I promise."

She sniffled and they both pulled apart, wiping the tears from our eyes. "Good," she said with a little laugh. "Cuz this time, I'll kick your ass so hard you won't have a choice but to snap out of it."

This made Tris laugh too. "I love you so much, Christina."

"Love you too, Tris."

*****************PAGEBREAK********************

Tobias knew his return to Abnegation wasn't going to be met with banners and a parade in his honor, but that still didn't prepare him for just how hard it actually was. Tris' hatred toward him wasn't surprising considering how he left things between them, but that didn't mean it didn't still hurt. He just never stopped to think about the repercussions of abandoning everyone else as well. It was evident that his decision to keep everyone at a distance in order to keep Tris back wasn't his brightest idea. Obviously, their whole crew had banded together to back Tris in her treat-Tobias-like-an-ass campaign, not that he blamed them. He was an ass.

After the epic blowup between him, Tris, and the notoriously bitchy Christina, any hope he had that he could re-kindle those past relationships was flushed right down the shitter. When Tris had so lovingly banished him from Amelia's, he returned to his apartment with his tail between his legs. What he needed was a good night's sleep and a few shots of whisky. Oh, and a plan… he needed a plan.

He woke the next morning feeling a little better about Operation: Win My Friends Back. That was until he got to the auto body shop that Will owned. He'd stopped off at the Starbucks, since he wasn't going to risk bodily harm by going back to the diner for a cup of coffee. He remembered that Will always had a killer caffeine addiction, so he was hoping the big ass cup of solid black in his hand would be a good enough olive branch, but he didn't want to get his hopes up too high.

He walked into the bay where Will was working on a black 1967 Pontiac GTO. He sucked in a fortifying breath and took his shot. "Hey man, that's one fine ride you got there." Will just looked at him as he wiped his hands with an old oil rag, not saying a word. "Uh," Tobias started, feeling more uncomfortable with every passing second. "I brought you a cup o' coffee." he extended his hand holding the Starbucks cup.

Quirking a brow, he reached out and took the drink. "Starbucks? Tris will kick my ass, she sees me drinking this."

The smirk on his face told Tobias that he'd love to see that happen. Tobias let out a short burst of laughter as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Figured Starbucks was a safer bet. I don't think it'd be too smart to go back to Amelia's just yet."

That got a full blown shit-eating grin from Will. "Maybe not ever, brother."

Tobias couldn't help the disappointment that stirred in his gut at that thought. "I'm kinda getting that man." This definitely wasn't going like he'd hoped. Letting out a puff of air, Tobias raised both hands in surrender. "I'm just here to say I'm sorry, Will. I got a lot of apologizing to do, and I figured you'd be a good starting point."

"Well color me flattered, soldier boy, but if you don't mind, I got a lot to do," Will replied incredulously.

His gift with words was failing him miserably.

He turned his back to Tobias and continued working on his car, so he dug deep and said the only thing that had any chance of working. "I'm an asshole, Will."

That got his attention fast. "Well, that's better… Go on."

Tobias couldn't help but laugh. "Look, there isn't anything I can say that could possibly make the shit I did any better. I was in a fucked up place when I left, man." he paused to try and get his thoughts sorted before continuing. "I was a dick. I know that… But… Everyone was moving on with their lives. Y'all were all gonna make something of yourselves, and there I was, stuck in the same piece-a-shit house, at the same piece-a-shit job, day after day, nothing ever changing for me. I just couldn't do it anymore."

Will threw the rag on the hood of the car and rested his hip against it. "That don't explain you cutting off all contact with anyone that ever cared about you. No one gave a shit you joined the Corps. We were all proud of you for making something of yourself." He let out a heavy sigh and shook his head before going on. "It's the fact that when you left, you severed all ties with every one of us, Tobias. That's the shit that's hard to let go of."

Tobias knew he was right. And the truth was he didn't have one damn good excuse. "I know, Will. I know. And if you decide to hate me forever, I'll understand. It's just… after the shit I did to Tris... I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror, let alone face any of you." Tobias didn't have to guess if everyone knew about the night before he left or not. It was clear with how they all glared at him that they were all well aware. "I fucked everything up that night, and instead of trying to make it right, I took the coward's way out. It's a shit reason but I need you to know, if I could go back and do things differently, I would. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't hate myself."

Will tilted his head slightly to the side as he studied Tobias. "I'm not gonna lie to you, brother. That shit you pulled with Tris was royally fucked up. You got no clue how bad that hurt her."

Hearing how hard things had been for Tris felt like a knife in Tobias' gut. The thought that he caused her any pain at all killed. It just made him hate himself more. He could deal with her contempt, but the thought of her hurting was almost too much. "I know man. But I'll tell you now, I'm going to do everything in my power to make things right."

"That's all I ask, Tobias." Will reached his hand out to shake his, and Tobias knew they'd made some headway in getting things back to how they once were.

"So we cool?" Tobias asked, extending his hand to his.

"Getting there. I might hold you over the flames a few more times, but we'll get there."

Tobias leaned his head back and let out another laugh. A real laugh this time, the first one in years. "I'll take that, brother… I'll take that."

"So, you talk with your Mother?" he asked, moving back to work on the GTO.

That was another thing Tobias wasn't looking forward to dealing with now that he was back. "Not yet," he replied, feeling like a coward.

"You're going to have to deal with that sooner or later."

Tobias ran his hands through his hair. It felt weird after ten years of having a military buzz cut to actually be able to run my hands through it, but Tris always talked about how much she loved my hair. So he grew it out some before he came back. Tobias knew he needed every advantage he could get with that girl. "Believe me, I'm hoping for later."

"Sitting on shit like that just makes it fester."

"When did you get so wise?" Tobias asked with a chuckle.

He looked up with a grin. "What are you talking about? I've always been wise. You forget that over the past ten years?"

Tobias grinned back uncomfortably. "Guess I did."

"How about this… I was about to head out for lunch. Why don't we head over to the deli on Main? You know, since you're banned from Amelia's and all."

"You're on," Tobias said, punching him in the arm. They started walking out of the bay toward the street. "So what do you think I should do to get back in Tris' good graces?" he wasn't going to tiptoe around the real reason he was back. He left behind the one and only girl he ever cared about, and he was determined to get her back.

The air around them suddenly shifted, and Tobias noticed Will's demeanor changing from casual to serious in a matter of one sentence. "Honestly, I don't know, Tobias. Some shit went down after you left. It's not my story to tell, so don't ask me, but I really don't know what to tell you. All I know is if she's going to forgive you, it's going to take a lot of damn work on your part."

It didn't sit well with Tobias, Will being so cryptic, but if there was one thing Tobias knew about him, it was that he was loyal to his core. If Tris had a secret, there was no getting it out of him, no matter how hard he pushed. It didn't matter though, he said it would take a lot of work and he was prepared to put in the man hours.

"Come on, dude," Will called back to Tobias. "I'm starving and you're buying. I figure if you really want to make things right, I got at least a year's worth of free meals coming my way."

One down, too many to count to go Tobias thought. At least he was off to an okay start.


	3. Chapter 3

_**(A/N-Thanks so much for all the reviews you guys are amazing! And ty for Bekki for beta reading this and for all your help.)**_

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"Can you believe this shit? That traitor!" Christina was on a roll. They'd just left the salon after some much needed mani-pedi time to see Will and Tobias walking out of the deli across the street, laughing. Laughing! Tris guessed that meant Will had forgiven the ass hat. Tris refused to admit it out loud, but seeing her buddy laughing with that dick head stung… like a lot. But with Tobias back in town, she'd made the decision to be the bigger person. Even if it killed her, which it just might.

"I've got a mind to rip both of them a new asshole," she continued. Tris just let her rant. Trying to stop Christina when she was on a tangent was like trying to stop a train by standing on the tracks with your hand out… dangerous and extremely stupid. "That's it! I'm so silent treatment-ing his ass."

Tris blew out a frustrated breath at her antics. "Isn't silent treatment typically used for a guy you're in a relationship with? Last I checked, you keep turning him down."

Christina waved her statement off like it was nothing. "It'll work, trust me. Will can't stand it when I don't talk to him. He depends on his daily dose of the awesomeness that is me, and now he's not gonna get it," she harrumphed.

Tris rolled her eyes heavenward. "Oh yeah. You're sure showing him."

"Bet your sweet ass I am."

Tris stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and looked at her best friend. Time to do that whole bigger person thing. God that shit sucks. "Look, while I'd love nothing more than to watch Tobias die a slow, agonizing death, preferably while I stood over him kicking him in the junk, that's just not gonna happen. He's back, and there's nothing you or I can do about it." Tris raised her hand to stop her oncoming argument. "He lived here for a long time and he had a lot of friends. If those guys decide they want to forgive him for bailing, then that's their decision."

Feeling pretty good about her speech so far, Tris sucked in a breath and finished it off. "I might not be able to forgive and forget, but I'm a big enough person not to hold it against someone else who can."

Christina stared at her in disbelief for several seconds before declaring… very loudly… "Oh, bullshit!"

Huh, well that wasn't the reaction Tris was expecting. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing, Tris Prior. You can pull that bigger person shit with someone else, but I know you better. You want to kick Will in the sac just as bad as I do!"

Tris grabbed her by the arm and dragged her around the corner. The last thing she needed was for everyone else to know she was full of shit just because Christina had a big mouth. "Okay, okay," Tris said through clenched teeth. "You're right, it's all bullshit, but it sounded good didn't it?"

She gave that some thought. "Yeah, it sounded good. And I don't think any of the guys will see through you the way I do, so you might actually pull off looking like the bigger person."

"Exactly," Tris declared, feeling triumphant.

They started walking again when Christina asked, "So, what? You're just going to act all chummy with Tobias again even though he's the spawn of Satan?"

"Pfft. Hell no! I've got nothing to say to that fucker. I'm just going to act like he doesn't exist and go about my days like he's not even here."

Christina cut her eyes at Tris, seeing through her false bravado instantly. "Good plan, Tris. There's no way that could possibly fail."

She had a point, but whatever."Can the sarcasm, bitch-ass."

Tris' plan of avoiding Tobias like the plague was put to the test that same afternoon. It went without saying that she was shocked as hell when he walked into the diner calm as can be, planted his ass at one of the tables, and started browsing through the menu. She contemplated refusing service for all of two seconds before she decided to nip this in the bud.

"What do you think you're doing?" Tris asked as she stomped up to his table. She was not going to give in and look at all his maleness wrapped up nicely in his Deputy uniform. She. Was. Not!

"Uh… Getting food?" He stared up at her innocently, which only pissed her off even further. He knew she knew exactly what he was playing at, and the fact he thought she was stupid enough not to see through his charade, made her want to stab him with a fork.

Okay… she might have jumped the gun on accusing Christina of having too much anger the other day, because she was right there with her. Tris couldn't stand that Tobias affected her to the point of physical violence when she'd never been violent in her life.

"You know I don't want you here. There are other places in town you can eat." Tris turned on her heels and started away from him. Unfortunately, she didn't get very far. The electric jolt she got from his hand wrapping around her wrist was almost enough to bring Tris to her knees. Such a simple touch and she felt like she was coming completely undone.

When she turned and looked into his eyes, Tris was sure the sorrow she saw in them mimicked her own. "Please." The sincerity in his voice gave her a moment's pause. "I know I don't deserve it after how I left things between us, and I don't expect you to ever forgive me. I just had to come in here and say I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry for everything I did to you, Tris."

She had no clue how to respond to that. She guessed in the back of her mind she figured he'd attempt to apologize, she just never thought it would be so heartfelt. Not knowing how to react Tris said the only thing that came to mind. "Okay."

He sat, shocked and taking her response in for several seconds. Tobias released her wrist and sat back with a sigh. "Thank you." Apparently, letting him get that off his chest meant more to him than she thought. "I know I'm really pressing my luck here, but would you consider letting me eat here?" When she looked back at him, he had that boyish smile on his face that she always loved so much when they were younger. "It's just that Amelia's has always had the best food. There isn't anywhere halfway decent in a ten mile radius."

It was her turn to sigh. "Fine, you can come in here for lunch or whatever. But I need you to understand something." Placing her hands on the table right beside him, she leaned down and spoke softly enough that only he could hear. "This does not mean we are friends. You are not going to come in here and attempt to chat me up or make bullshit small talk. You wanna eat? That's fine. If you're coming in to my diner for any other reason than that, you need to find somewhere else to get your meals. Do you understand?" Tris only had so much high road in her, and she'd already met her quota for the day by relenting to him eating here.

"I understand," he said quietly. "Just food, I promise."

Tris stood back to her full height. "Thank you."

He cleared his throat uncomfortably before continuing. "Do you think Amelia would take my head off if I attempted to say hello to her? I haven't seen your Grams around town since I got back."

The statement he just made confirmed what she'd known all along, but still left Tris feeling cold and hurt. "You didn't read a single email I sent… did you?" It was hard to speak past the lump in her throat. This man just couldn't stop hurting her.

He looked down at the table in front of him, crestfallen. "No, I didn't."

Tris stood there and just stared, letting the pain of his confession rush through her body, just waiting for him to look up at her again. When he finally did, she spoke in a flat, emotionless voice. "You can't say hi, Tobias. Grams died." she turned and walked away before he could say anything else. She'd heard all she wanted to from Tobias Eaton.

******FLASHBACK*********

Summer 2008

Tris woke to the sun pouring into her room through her window. Remembering the events of the night before, she lifted her arms over her head with a huge smile on her face, stretching out her body and cherishing the dull throb she'd never experienced before. Not only had she lost her virginity, but she'd lost it to her best friend in the world. A man that she truly loved.

Tris turned over to get a look at Tobias sleeping in her bed for the first time only to discover that she was alone. A quick glance around confirmed that Tobias must have snuck out in the middle of the night. She could only assume he was worried about Grams coming into her room and catching them. She reached for her cell on the nightstand to check for messages and was surprised to find that he hadn't, at the very least, sent her a text. Looking at the time and seeing that it was already past ten, she made the decision to call him first. This was their last day together before he left for basic. She wanted to be sure to get as much time in with him as possible. Tris started to feel that ball of worry in her stomach when the phone went to voicemail. Maybe, he's still sleeping she thought to herself, but deep down she knew it was more than that.

She needed someone to talk to, she needed Christina. She got dressed and quickly made her way over.

"You did what?" Christina screamed. Tris had just told her about her night with Tobias and she was freaking out.

"Will you please calm the hell down?" Tris asked. The last thing she needed was for her mother to overhear their conversation. Tris grew up in the typical, middleclass suburban neighborhood of Abnegation whereas Christina's family was from the richer part of town.

"Calm the hell down? Are you serious! You lose your V-card to your best friend and this is the first I'm hearing about it? I kinda hate you right now."

Tris collapsed onto her bed as she played the night again and again in her head. "It's not like we'd planned it. I know it sounds cliché but it just happened."

"Just happened… Like it slipped in? My ass, Tris Prior! Losing your virginity doesn't just happen."

Tris let out a frustrated huff of air. She was uncomfortable enough having to discuss this with Christina. She wasn't making it any easier. She might have been loud mouthed about some things, but when it came to sex, she couldn't talk without turning the color of a cherry tomato. It was humiliating. "I don't mean it like that, ass face! You know what I meant. We didn't go into last night planning on sleeping together. I didn't even think about it happening until he was lying in my bed, holding on to me." Tris ran her hands through her hair as she tried to put last night into words that would make sense. "It's like it just all clicked into place, you know? I was lying in bed and he climbed through the window and I just… I just knew."

"So what's that mean for you guys? Are you, like, a couple now? How's that going to work with him going into the Marines?"

Tris felt the tears pricking the back of her eyes. She was asking all of the questions she'd been asking herself all day. She didn't have any answers, and she desperately wanted some. "I don't know, Christina."

She sat down on the bed next to her and wrapped her arms around Tris. "Hey, come on now. Why are you crying?"

Tris sniffled and tried her best to pull herself together. "He's not answering any of my calls or texts, Christina." Saying it out loud made the anxiety even worse. Once it's vocalized, it's no longer just in her head, it's real. "I woke up this morning, and he was gone. Just gone. I've tried calling but it keeps going to voicemail." The tears started again, and she was having an even harder time controlling them. "What if he regrets it? He's leaving tomorrow. What if I don't see him again?!" The thought of that was quickly sending her into hysterics.

"Hey now, none of that." Christina started rubbing the back of her hair in soothing motions. "Of course he doesn't regret it."

"How can you know that?" Tris wanted so badly to believe her, but she just wasn't sure. She had this feeling, deep down in the pit of her stomach, telling her something wasn't right, and the more she tried to ignore it, the worse it got. "We've never gone more than a few hours without talking, and now that we've had sex, I can't get a hold of him? That can't be a coincidence."

Tris could tell that she wanted to believe what she was saying, but it was obvious she was concerned. "Well, then screw it," she said with conviction. "If he won't answer his damn phone, then you get your ass over to his house and confront him. He's leaving tomorrow. You need answers, and if you don't get them before, then you're going to be miserable. Don't let him leave with any unanswered questions. You'll regret it forever."

She was right, Tris knew it. She had to talk to Tobias face to face, but the thought of that terrified her. "Okay. Yeah, you're right." she sucked it up and tried to be optimistic even if it was fake.

"Damn straight I am," she declared. After several more minutes of pep talk, Tris left Christina's. She hollered out as she was walking out the door, "Now go over there and kick his ass into gear."

Once Tris got home, she did something she'd never done in preparation to see Tobias. She actually tried. Meaning she went for the full hair and makeup effect. She spent a good twenty minutes on her outfit selection, and she even spritzed on a little perfume. She knew it was ridiculous, but after the night they'd had together, she knew their relationship had changed for good. Gone were the days of just throwing on a ratty pair of sweats and tossing her hair up in a sloppy knot on the top of her head. She wanted Tobias to see her as a woman, not just one of his friends.

All that confidence disappeared at Tobias' doorstep. Her stomach was a jumbled up wreck of nerves by the time she opened his front door. Knocking was pointless at Tobias' house. His mother—preferring to spend her evenings at whatever bar hadn't kicked her out that week— was never home, and he never bothered to lock the door. If someone were to ever knock, he would just holler out that it was open anyway.

The idea of Tobias spending his last night at home alone made her sad. Whether or not their relationship went anywhere, she still wanted to be there for him. Tris found the front door unlocked, as it usually was, and she pushed it open. "Tobias," she called out. She didn't want to freak him out by not announcing her presence. She heard a muffled sound coming from down the hall, toward his room. "Tobias," she called again as she got closer. He didn't respond but the noises were getting louder. She felt a ball of dread forming in the pit of her stomach again.

She was right outside his bedroom door when she heard the distinct sound of moaning. She could tell instantly it wasn't just Tobias. His door was halfway open and when she peeked in, she wanted to die. Tears instantly started streaming down her cheeks, ruining all of the work she'd put into her makeup. Tobias and Nita, a girl that made Tris' high school years hell were making out on his bed.

"You're so perfect, Nita," Tobias moaned out.

Nita Haskins!

If there was one person on the face of this earth that Tris could claim she truly, irrevocably hated, it would be Nita. And Tobias knew this! He knew how awful she'd been to her and here she was, making out with Tobias, one day after he'd been with her. As if that weren't bad enough, the fact that he was telling her she was perfect was a direct shot through Tris' heart.

She had to get out of there. She didn't even care if they heard her. She hoped her crashing their little party ruined their night. They both deserved it. She spun around and ran down the hall as fast as she could, knocking over a small side table in the process. Tris could barely see through the blur of tears in her eyes, but she was determined to keep going. Once she reached the front door and passed through, she slammed it as hard and she could. She didn't slow down until she reached her front yard. Once there, she realized that the last thing she needed was for Grams to see her so wound up,

Grams was in the kitchen making dinner. "Hey, Tris darling. Supper's just about done," she called over her shoulder when she heard her close the front door.

Tris tried to speak through the knot in her throat and was shocked that her voice came out sounding relatively normal. "I'm not really hungry, Grams," she called out as she headed to her room. "I'm just going to lie down. I think I'm coming down with a cold or something." Tris hated lying to Grams. She'd been such a strong influence in her life for so many years. She respected and loved her with all of her heart, and not being truthful with her hurt deeply. But there was no way Tris could let her see her like this. She didn't want to have to think about what she'd seen, let alone talk about it. She just needed time. Once her head was clear, she'd be honest with her.

She got to her room and headed straight to the bathroom to scrub the ridiculous makeup off her face. Throwing on sweats and tossing her hair back into its signature sloppy knot, Tris climbed in her bed and cried herself to sleep. Tobias had succeeded in doing the one thing no other guy had ever done. He'd managed to completely annihilate her heart in just a matter of seconds. That had to be some sort of record.

By the time Tris woke the next day, he was already gone.


	4. Chapter 4

_**(A/N-Okay so I'm back to work on these stories I had started. I will finish them, I promise. Wanted to thank Bekki for beta reading this and ty to those who read, review, follow and fav. Reviews always make my day! And Happy New Year, soon.)**_

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Tris walked into Zeke's with Christina, Will and Uriah to let off some steam and kick back. They ordered some drinks and a few minutes later the music started and the atmosphere in the bar went electric. She was surrounded by good friends, good booze, and great music. The guys were halfway through their set, and her friends and her were having the time of their lives, shaking their butts and screaming out their undying love and devotion for the band.

Tris had her eyes closed, and her hands in the air as she moved to the beat and shouted the lyrics to "Carry On Wayward Son" as loud as she could when, all a sudden, the air around her went static. Her eyes flew open and her head jerked around of its own accord just as Tobias came waltzing through the door of Zeke's. It was as if her body had a physical reaction whenever he was within a few feet.

She tried her best not to show any emotion when his eyes met hers but when she caught a glimpse of Nita on his arm all she saw was red...as in blood...as in she wanted to cut that bitch. How could he walk into a public place, where he knew she was going to be, with that bitch, was unfathomable.

"Oh, he did not just walk in here with her," Christina hollered above the music. Knowing something was wrong her friends circled around Tris.

Tobias must not have been as detached to her moods as she'd assumed, because he narrowed his eyes at her, tilted his head and studied her expression, then quickly turned and glanced back at Nita. Tris could see it on his face the moment he realized his colossal mistake.

Nita retracted her claws from Tobias' arm long enough to head over to the bar and he took that opportunity to approach her. He actually had the nerve to look at her with remorse in his eyes, "Tris, can we talk?"

Before Tris could get so much as a word out, Nita snaked her arm around Tobias' waist from behind and plastered her fake boobs to his side, wrapping herself around him like a snake. "Hey, baby, I got something for you," attempting to sound sultry, but came out like baby talk.

Tris swallowed down the bile rising in her throat and plastered a fake smile on her face. "I bet I know what it is," Tris said, "Just remember Tobias, herpes is the gift that keeps on giving." With that she booked it to the bar, with Christina and Uriah following behind her with laughter.

"Unbelievable," Uriah said, "To show up with her?"

"I want to claw her eyes out," Christina said.

Tris just rolled her eyes and tried to make the best of the rest of the night. But even with her best maneuvers to avoid him, she still wasn't good enough to get away from Tobias. He was like a tractor beam, because he eventually managed to corner her at the bar when she'd taken a break from busting a move to order a drink.

"I didn't come here with her, you know." He spit the words so quickly, she almost missed their meaning.

"It's really none of my business, Tobias. You can come here with whomever you want. No accounting for taste, of course."

He rubbed the back of his neck, and she remembered from their childhood that that was something he did when he was extremely nervous. He locked eyes with her again and continued. "I wouldn't do that to you, Tris. She caught me outside as I was walking in."

"You wouldn't do that to me? Really? Because I seem to remember in vivid detail I might add, that you've already done exactly that to me once before." She tried to push hi away but he was too strong. It was like trying to push a brick wall.

He wrapped his hand around her arm and towered above her. "I fucked up, I know that, but I've been trying to talk to you about it since I got back to town. You haven't given me one chance to explain..."

She cut him off right there. She jerked her arm out of his hold and pushed him back with all her might. "Explain?" She yelled louder than she had intended. "You want to fucking explain? You've had ten years to explain, Tobias. I sent you countless emails and letters, given you every opportunity to explain. All you had to do was open them and reply! What is it you want to explain to me, exactly? Is it why I walked in your house and caught you with the girl who made my life miserable the day after you slept with me? You honestly think you've got a good excuse for that?"

When she finally stopped yelling, she noticed almost the whole bar was looking at them. "Yes!" Tobias roared. "I want you to let me explain why I did that!"

"Oh please," Tris said, so much sarcasm dripping from those two words it was a wonder she didn't drown in it. "Let me know what excuse you have that's so good it can fix the damage you caused that night. I'd just love to hear it."

He grabbed her by the arm and walked her through the crowd toward the door. They made their way out the door and into the parking lot, Christina, Al, Will and Uriah hot on their heels.

"If you don't let her go right now, I'm going to beat the shit out of you!" Christina hollered. "You might be a Marine, jerkoff, but I've got a fucking black belt in kick your ass kwon do. Do not test me."

Will was on her in a second. "Christina, calm down. Let them handle it."

Christina spun around fast as lightning. "Are you kidding me? Just because you let him sweet talk himself into your good graces, doesn't mean the rest of us have to buy into his bullshit."

"Christina, Tobias and Tris need to talk this out without you in the mix." Will said as he moved them to the side.

"You going to let me speak now?" Tobias asked.

"By all means," Tris said.

He started pacing and running his hands through his hair. "That night we were together..." he started.

"You mean the night you took my virginity?" Tris said snidely, hoping to make him cringe.

"Yes," he hissed. "You told me you loved me, and after you fell asleep, I was just lying there thinking about how you deserved so much better than me. I knew that if I didn't do something, you'd wait for me I couldn't let you put your life on hold for me when I knew I wasn't worth it." He stopped pacing and came to stand in front of her. "If I'd let you do that, you would have eventually realized what a piece of shit I was, and you'd have regretted it. I couldn't stand the thought of that."

The sudden wave of emotions tangled in her throat made it hard to speak. "You said that I would never lose you. You promised me that."

He walked up to he and grabbed her face between his hands. The contact was like a knife to her heart. "I know that, and it killed me. Every day for ten years, I thought about how I hurt you. It got so bad that if it hadn't been for a buddy of mine keeping my ass in check while we were overseas, I wouldn't be here now. I can't begin to tell you how much I regret the way I left you." He spoke so quietly she almost couldn't hear him. "I knew you'd come when I wasn't answering your calls. I went and picked up Nita at some party, knowing how much you hated her. I knew if you saw me with another woman, you would never be able to forgive me. I did what I did so that you would let me go. I wanted you to have the life you deserved. I wanted you to meet someone who was actually worthy of you. But what you saw with Nita was fake. When I heard you run out of the house, I pushed away from her and kicked her out. What you saw was never finished, and I never had sex with her. I just needed you to let me go."

Tris reached for his hands and pulled them away from her face. "You were successful, Tobias. You wanted to prove you didn't deserve me and you did that...in spades. I know now, more so than I did then, exactly how unworthy of me you actually are."

*******PAGEBREAK********

Watching Tris walk away from him in the parking lot was one of the worst nights of his life. Staring into her beautiful eyes, the pain and hatred so stark he could feel it, was like dying a thousand times. The one person in his life that he never wanted to hurt was the one he kept hurting over and over again. She was still the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid his eyes on. Those stormy grey eyes could always look directly through him and see everything he never wanted her to see. Everything about her was pure and untainted. He always thought she was naturally beautiful growing up, and she'd only gotten better with age. He hated putting that sorrow in her eyes, and he didn't have the first clue how to remove it. Everything he said or did was wrong.

He'd spent the last few years beating himself up and getting nowhere. He had been back home for two and a half weeks and had managed to put off the one thing he dreaded doing. He knew he had to give Tris a few more days before he attempted to talk to her again, no matter how badly he wanted to steamroll his way into her life.

He was going to see his mom.

He went to her home, knowing the door would be unlocked as she was usually too drunk to lock it. He walked in and called out to her, "Evelyn? You here?"

"In the living room," she called back. He had emailed her over the years barely keeping in touch. He knew it was time to face her. As he neared her, he saw that the alcohol and smoking had aged her more. He had gotten his eyes and facial features from her, everything he was on the inside, he'd gotten from his dad. That was one of the main reasons he had pushed Tris away like he did. He knew that there was a huge part of Marcus in him and he couldn't stand the thought of Tris becoming like Evelyn because of him.

"There you are," Evelyn said.

"How are you?" Tobias asked.

"I'm good now that my son's safe," she looked up at him, her smile so genuine he could see some of the beauty from her past.

"I'm sorry I haven't come by sooner," he said.

"No need to apologize. Come and sit down," she said. "I'm sorry I would have had something for dinner if I knew you were coming."

"It's alright, I just wanted to visit quickly," he said. He spent a little longer with her before making the excuse that he had errands to run. He hated how strained things were between them, he wasn't sure the damage could ever be undone. He wasn't above admitting he held on to a massive amount of resentment toward her for allowing Marcus to make their lives a living hell for so long.

Before he went to his apartment, he went to the grocery to pick up a few things. As he was almost done, he ran smack dab into his own personal judge, jury, and executioner.

"Well good evening, Deputy Asshole."

"Christina," he responded curtly. "Just how many more clever names do you have for me?"

"Considering there's a ton of curse words, plenty," she replied.

"Great."

"You shouldn't have come back, you know. Why did you have to come back?" The malice that usually filled her voice when she spoke to him was gone, and in it's place was a sorrow that lanced through him like a white hot blade.

"I appreciate you trying to protect Tris, Christina, but the reason I'm here aren't relly your business."

Her expression went hard. "Why can't you just head back to wherever the hell it is you've been? No one wants you here, Tobias. Or are you just too self-absorbed to figure that out?"

"Look, I know you hate me, and I get it. I understand. But I came here to make things right. I don't want to cause any more problems. I just want to fix the ones I've already made."

"That's not possible," she cried. "There's no fixing what you've already done, Tobias. Just let it go. Let her go. You're going to ruin her all over again."

For the life of him, he couldn't understand the intensity of her reaction. He felt like he was missing some very crucial pieces of a puzzle. "I get that I messed up, Christina, but it was ten years ago. How much longer you going to make me pay for the sins of my past?"

Something flashed deep in her eyes. It was there and gone before he could figure out what it was. "What you did was so much more than a simple fuck up," she whispered with so much hatred it was palpable. "She's been through hell, Tobias. Absolute hell. There were times when I wasn't sure she'd ever make it out of that hell again. She finally gets to a place where she can finally feel happy again, and you breeze back on in and fuck it all up. You can't do that to her again. You need to leave...for Tris' sake."

Before he could wrap his brain around the bomb she'd just dropped, she was gone. He knew that seeing him with Nita all those years ago was going to hurt Tris, but he never thought it would be to such an extent. He didn't take their night together lightly, at all. He'd come back for one soul purpose, to win Tris back. But how long could a woman or a town for that matter, hold on to that much hatred?

********PAGEBREAK******

"Okay woman, spill!" Christina's voice yelled out as she walked into Tris' backyard.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Tris said as she watched her sit down beside her with a drink.

"Like hell. What happened after Will dragged me away?" she asked.

"Short story, he apologized said he didn't sleep with Nita that it was all to make me let him go," Tris said.

"He's a bastard for doing that," she said.

"Agreed, he told me back then that he didn't feel like he deserved me. I told him he still didn't."

"Good girl," Christina said as they clinked glasses.

************PAGEBREAK*********

The following Saturday was Will's birthday and Christina was throwing a party at their place. All her friends were like her family, they were that close. And by the time the party started the backyard was full of people. When Tris walked in to mix up some more french onion dip, standing at the sink, her back was to the doorway when the air around her started to change. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Tobias standing there, watching her like a predator would watch its prey. He was leaning up against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest, looking sexier than he had any right to be.

"You need any help?" he asked as he pushed off the wall and started in her direction.

She turned back around and stared at the bowl of dip like it was the most fascinating thing she'd ever seen. "No, I'm just about done here. The party's out back you can just walk on through."

She closed her eyes against the sudden onslaught of memories that came when his scent invaded her senses. Fresh, clean cotton mixed with the woodsy fragrance of the outdoors. It was a scent she'd once known so well. It was one that used to give her comfort, but now all it did was remind her of how badly her heart had been broken. "Okay, I guess I'll see you out there." His voice was laced with disappointment, but she wouldn't allow herself to turn and acknowledge it.

She released the breath she hadn't realized she was holding when she heard the sliding door shut behind him. When she finished the dip and when she walked out, Tobias was sitting in a lawn chair near Will, Al, and Zeke. Christina was sitting off to the side in a conversation with Uriah, but she could see she was sending daggers at Tobias.

Al and Will seemed to have moved forward with Tobias but Tris noted that Uriah didn't look happy that he was there either. Tris frowned because even though she couldn't find it in her to forgive Tobias, she hated that once they'd all been so close. She knew they felt the way they did because of her, and if she couldn't forgive him, how could she expect them all to?

As the night went on and no drama unfolded, Tris started to relax and really enjoy herself. Tobias and her hadn't really engaged each other in conversation, but that didn't stop them from getting into the stories of others. Everything seemed to be going good...until Nita came sauntering into the backyard. "What the hell?" Uriah asked.

Nita had always acted like she was too good for the rest of them, and had never attended one of their parties before, not that she would have been welcome. Nita made her way over to Tobias, and wrapped her arms around his neck. Tris felt Uriah grab her hand and give it a squeeze, she smiled at him, grateful for his support.

The instant Tobias realized who was molded to his body he took her arms and pulled them away from his neck. Undeterred, Nita grabbed an empty lawn chair and sat down.

"Bitch, what are you doing here?" Christina asked.

"Tobias invited me, so I figured I'd stop by," Nita said.

Tris wanted to murder him on the spot, but his eyes shot to hers and she saw the confusion and worry that crashed like violent waves in their blue depths. "Hold up, I never invited you Nita. You asked what I was doing tonight and I told you I was going to a party. That's not an invitation." His voice held so much conviction that Tris actually believed him.

"Well, I knew what you meant," Nita cooed, then she caught Tobias looking at Tris and turned her attention to her. "Tris, should you really be drinking? Aren't you an alcoholic or something?"

Tris didn't miss the collective gasp that came from the group or the fact that Tobias was staring at her in bewilderment. "No, I'm neither but thanks for the concern. But since we're sharing and caring, I feel that I should tell you something. Maybe you should switch to light beer. Your thighs are starting to look a little chunky in your hooker skirt."

Tris got up to leave as she did she heard the laughter and Will telling Nita to leave, before yelling at everyone to get in the house. Once everyone was in Will started to speak, "This group is a family. This bullshit has to stop. We've got people going at each other's throats, people bailing on parties, people taking sides. Just stop already."

"What is between Tobias and Tris needs to stay between them. It's not our place to get into their business. Don't give me that look, Christina," Will said.

"I'm sorry to you all, Will is right. My issues with Tobias needs to stay between us, I can't stand to see you guys take sides in this. I'll be civil when we're all out together," Tris said.

Now it was up to Tobias, "I can work with that if you're comfortable with it."

"Deal." Tris said.

********PAGEBREAK*******

The following Monday, Tris was dead tired on her feet and it was only Monday. When she finally took notice of the man in front of her. She got lightheaded, he was by far, one of the best looking men she'd ever seen. If she put him up against Tobias, he would come in a very close second. "What can I get you?" She asked. His grin turned into a full blown smile, and damn was it a fine smile!

"Well, I don't know. I'm new in town. What would you recommend?" he asked.

"Well, you can't go wrong with anyone. But if I was forced to choose, I'd pick the buttermilk pancakes." Tris answered.

"Alright, sounds delicious. But I can't help but wonder...does that meal come with your number by any chance?" he asked.

"It doesn't," Tris said.

He placed his hand over his heart as if he were hurt. "You wound me."

"Somehow I doubt that."

He was about to respond when she heard a sound from over her shoulder that couldn't be described as anything other than an animalistic growl. "What the hell is going on here?"

Tris turned to Tobias. "Just helping a customer. Nothing to get your panties in a wad about."

To Tris' surprise when the newbie turned to face Tobias, he said. "Well I'll be damned. What the fuck are you doing here?" Both men then wrapped each other in a man hug, complete with the typical hard pound on the back.

"I remember you always talking about this town so I figured I'd see what the fuss was about. I was just chatting with this pretty little thing here when you rudely interrupted." He turned his attention back to her and extended his hand. "I don't believe we formally met. Eric Coulter. It's nice to meet you."

Tris politely took his hand in his and shook it, "Tris Prior."

"So how do you know Tobias here?" Eric asked.

"Tris and I grew up together," Tobias answered.

Recognition flashed across Eric's face. "Wait...Tris? You're Tris?" At her nod, he looked back at Tobias. "Dude, I had no clue this was your Tris. I never would have made a play for her had I known."

"Excuse me, but I'm not his Tris." Tris said as she turned and left the two men standing there. She shook her head, the first guy who'd hit on her in forever turned out to be a friend of his.

**********PAGEBREAK************

"I'm glad to see you man, but I'm going to say this just once. Tris is off limits." Tobias said.

Eric held his hands up in surrender. "Hey man, no worries. She's gorgeous and all that, but now that I know who she is, I'm backing off."

An immediate sense of relief washed over Tobias like a wave. "Good. I've got enough going against me with her as it is."

"So what's the deal with you two? I mean you talked about her so much I feel like I know her already." Eric asked.

"It's a long story. I just made some mistakes with her before I left and I don't know if that can be undone." Tobias said.

"From how you used to talk, I assumed you were pretty tight before you left," Eric said.

"Yeah, we were." Tobias picked up a cup of coffee.

"So what happened?" Eric asked.

"Not a conversation for here. We'll go out later for some beers," Tobias said.

"Sounds good to me." Eric said as the two caught up.

****PAGEBREAK*****

As Tris was leaving the diner that night, she noticed her keys were locked in the car. "Great. Just what I need." She called the police and asked for assistance, the dispatcher said she would send a patrol out. A few minutes later, Tris groaned as she saw who got out of the car.

"Even better." Tris said as Tobias walked up to her.

"Need assistance?" Tobias asked.

"My keys are inside," Tris said.

"One second," he said as he got the instrument out to unlock the door.

As he worked he turned to her, "So did you get a degree in psychology like you always talked about?"

"No. Some stuff happened. Grams got sick and I had to take over the diner." she said.

"Gods, I didn't know. I'm sorry," he said.

"You never really read a single email I sent you did you?" Tris wished she had kept her mouth shut. "You know what, don't answer that. I don't want to know."

Minutes later he had her car unlocked. "I couldn't Tris."

"Tobias, don't.."

"I knew if I heard you voice or read any of your email, I wouldn't be able to let you go."

The tears came in full force with his words. She buried her head in her hands and let them fall silently as he continued. "Back then, I thought I was doing what was best for you." He put his finger under her chin and lifted her face to his. "I'm so sorry, I'd give anything to take away the pain I caused you. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it." He leaned in closer to her as he whispered. "Please, just let me fix this. Let me fix us."

Parting her lips on a sharp inhale was apparently all the invitation he needed. The instant his lips were on hers, she was lost. It wasn't the slow burn type of kiss. It was vicious and desperate. It was full of undeniable hunger. The need inside both of them had clawed its way to the surface, and they kissed as if their lived depended on it. The feel of his hands on her was completely intoxicating. He feasted on her lips like a man devouring his last meal, creating a simmer in her blood that she could quickly become addicted to.

The few brain cells she had left were screaming at her to stop, that she shouldn't be doing this, but when Tobias trailed his lips down her neck and along her collarbone, all rational thought escaped her. She let out a low moan from deep in her throat. Grabbing a hold of his hair, she yanked his mouth to hers and dove back into that kiss. "God, I've missed you so much." He said against her lips. "I never should have left you the way I did."

At his words, memories of the last night she saw him came rushing back to her with the impact of a car crashing into a wall. Nita and Tobias on his bed. It was like a bucket of cold water being poured on her. She pulled back and scrambled away.

"Tris wait." Tobias tried to grab her but she quickly ran towards her car.

"I can't do this Tobias. It was a mistake." She got into the car, grabbed her keys and drove off as if the hounds of hell were after her.

She couldn't believe she had let him touch her, much less kiss her. She had to stay strong and hopefully he would move on.


	5. Chapter 5

_**(A/N-Special thanks to Bekki for beta reading this, and to everyone who reads, reviews, follows and favs this. I appreciate you all. Oh and Tobias will find out very soon how costly his decisions of the past were. Reviews are appreciated.)**_

* * *

The next few days had been a whirlwind for Tris, she saw Tobias a few times. He tried his best to be a perfect gentleman, but she couldn't stop replaying the kiss. Just thinking about it made her burn from the inside out. She ached for him in way she shouldn't. The memory of that kiss was driving her insane, but she couldn't talk to anyone about it. She was terrified and exhilarated all at the same time. Allowing him back in could bring her world crashing down again.

Seeing the date circled on the calendar, she dragged herself through her morning routine and headed out the door. She stopped off at the florist like she usually did every year on this day before making her way to her destination. The walk up the hill was as sad as it had always been. What she wouldn't give to never have to do this. She pulled the dead flowers out of the vase and replaced them with new ones. Then she took a seat on the fresh cut grass and brushed the dirt off of the grave marker in front of her.

When she pulled into her driveway later, Tris was emotionally drained, exhausted from crying. Uriah and Christina were sitting on her front porch when she walked up. "You two on Tris duty today?"

"Don't think of it like that," Uriah said as he pulled her into a hug.

"We just want to be here for you. That's all." Christina took her keys and unlocked the door. "How are you holding up?"

She closed her eyes as they led her into the kitchen, "I'm alright. I just hate this day. I wished I could sleep through it every year."

"We're all here for you," Uriah said as he gave her one more squeeze.

"I know. I can't begin to tell you all how much I appreciate it."

"What's your poison for the day?" Uriah asked. "I'm just going to Irish your coffee up a little bit."

Tris let out a soft laugh. "Bourbon will work just fine."

"That's my girl," He gave her a little wink as he doctored up her coffee. It was just what she needed.

They sat in her kitchen drinking coffee, hers spiked, talking about nothing in particular, but she could tell by the look on Uriah's face that he had something on his mind. "What's up, Uriah?"

"Huh? Nothing..." Uriah said not meeting her eyes.

Tris reached over and placed her hand over his. "Just tell me. I know something's bothering you."

He released a sigh before answering. "Are you planning on telling him?"

Tris ran her hands through her hair trying to figure out what she should do. "I don't know. Tell me what to do."

"You have to decide if you want him to know now that he's back, or not." Christina said.

Tris rubbed her aching temples and took the coward's way out...avoidance. "Can we not talk about this? I'm not trying to be rude, but just not today."

"Don't be sorry, Tris. You're not rude for not wanting to talk about this today." Uriah said.

"Come on, group hug," Christina said as they did. They always made sure on this day that she wasn't alone.

"So, what's the plan for tonight?" Tris asked.

"Three words," Uriah said, excitedly. "Daryl, Rick. Zombies!"

"The Walking Dead marathon?" Tris asked.

"Ding, ding, ding."

"Good."

********PAGEBREAK**********

"Ewww." Christina said.

"I didn't know this show was so graphic," Tobias grunted as we watching a scene with a zombie ripping a screaming woman's intestines out.

"I know, it's great isn't it?" Tris squeaked excitedly.

"How have I never seen this show?" Eric asked who was sitting on the couch with his elbows on his knees.

"The only answer is that you're a total loser." Will's friend, Sarah said. Tris had noticed the looks that she and Eric had been giving one another.

Tris was sitting between Uriah and Tobias, "Andrea is kind of hot," Tobias said to her with a grin.

"Yeah, if you consider a woman with a toxic va jay jay hot," Christina said.

"Toxic va jay jay?" Tobias asked.

"Yeah, you saw how Shane went nutso because Rick had to kill him."

"Yeah."

"And now Andrew is banging the governor who is clearly off his rocker," Christina added.

"Ok, that makes sense, I guess," Tobias said.

"I don't care," Eric said. "I'd rather go crazy from having sex than get my intestines ripped out by some dude with half a face rotted off."

"Why am I not surprised?" Tobias rolled his eyes at Eric. "I think some of those women you've been with already caused brain rot."

"Don't hate just because you haven't gotten any in years." Eric said.

Tobias' spine instantly stiffened, and a small gasp burst past Tris' lips at Eric's statement. It seemed everyone except Eric was suddenly on red alert. All conversation came to a halt and every person's eyes darted to Tobias and her.

"What'd I say?" Poor Eric was totally clueless.

Tris gave him a polite smile and said, "Nothing. It's all good." She stood from the couch and made her way to the kitchen. "I'm getting another beer. Anyone need a refill?" She didn't wait for a reply, she walked in and knew that Christina would be right behind her.

"You okay?" Christina asked.

"Yeah, just needed a minute," Tris said.

"I'm not going to give you a hard time, just wanted to make sure you know what you're doing." Christina said.

They headed back into the living room, fresh beers in hand, just in time to hear Eric yell. "Shots! That zombie went for the jugular. That's a shot!"

The only thing better than watching the show was turning it into a drinking game.

******PAGEBREAK********

Everyone started to file out after they watched Andrea bite the bullet. Eric was still having a hard time that Merle didn't make it. "I just don't understand. Why did it have to be Merle?"

Tris reached up and patted him on the head. "It's a tv show, don't get so emotionally invested."

"It should have been someone else, damnit," Eric said.

"I'll tell you what, next marathon night we'll watch the Golden Girls," Tris offered. He was still mumbling as he walked out the door. Closing the door, she saw Tobias picking up the empty beer bottles around her living room. "Your friend has issues," she said as she joined the clean up.

Tobias smiled and said, "That's an understatement."

"You don't have to help clean, I can get it in the morning," Tris said.

"It's no big deal," he said as he finished and headed to the kitchen to start in there. Resting his hip against the island, he watched her for several seconds as she cleaned up, "This was a lot of fun."

"Yeah it really was," she said as she looked up from where she was wiping the counter.

He stood there, looking deep in thought as he flipped a beer cap between his fingers between his thumb and index finger. "I just want to thank you. You know...for inviting me and Eric."

"Well, we're trying to be civil toward each other, right? And besides Eric's a hot mess. It's always fun to have someone like that around," Tris said with a smile.

"I know Uriah and Christina still have issues with me, but it was nice being able to be here with no drama," he said with a small laugh.

"They're just protective of me, I'm sure they'll warm up eventually," Tris said, wanting to defend them.

"It's definitely personal, Tris, but I'm not mad about it. I understand why they lok at me the way they do, and honestly, I'm glad you've got perople like them at your back. I fucked up, and they're watching to make sure I don't do it again."

"They'll come around eventually," she said. She could sense him moving closer just before she felt his fingertips under her chin, lifting her face, so they were eye to eye.

"What about you, Tris? Have you come around?"

As she looked into those blue eyes, she understood just how deep the meaning behind the question ran, and she couldn't allow herself to sink into those depths with him. "I can try and give you my friendship, Tobias, but that's all I've got. And even then, I'm still struggling."

Her heartbeat stalled as those deep blue eyes scanned every inch of her face just before a smile took over. "That's good enough," he said as he started for the door. She barely had released her breath when he said. "For now."

*********PAGEBREAK******

"You're kidding right, you never go out to a club," Eric said as they walked in Tobias' apartment.

"The group are going out and thought it might be good to go as well," Tobias said.

"And I'm sure there's one particular reason you're going," Eric said.

Tobias said nothing.

"What went on with you two? I know there's a story there, so don't bother denying it." Eric said.

Tobias raked his hands through his hair. The knot that had been residing in his gut for so damn long was finally starting to grow unbearable. He wasn't sure how much longer he could handle carrying it around with him.

He didn't really want to get into his past with Tris, but he knew the likelihood of Eric being put off again was slim to none. "I moved down the street from Tris when I was about six years old. She was my best friend all my life until I joined the Corps."

"So what happened? She was alright with you enlisting or something?" Eric asked.

"She got used to the idea, she wasn't thrilled at first, but she always supported my decisions." Pulling in a deep breath, he spoke about the worst decision he'd ever made. "A few days before I left, we ended up sleeping together. I freaked out and did something really stupid to try and push her away."

"What'd you do?" Leave it to Eric to ask the question he didn't want to answer.

"I picked up a chick from a party...I knew Tris and this girl hated each other, that's why I chose her. I was leaving for basic the next day, and I wasn't answering any of Tris' calls. I knew she'd come looking for me before I took off, so I took the girl home and Tris walked in on us."

Tobias sat there, letting Eric process what I just told him while his mind took him back to that night. For the past ten years, Tobias had hated himself. He couldn't even look in the mirror without snarling at the bastard standing in front of him.

"What the fuck man?" Eric finally snapped after several tense seconds. "That's just twisted. Why the hell would you do something like that? From what I've seen, Tris' fucking awesome."

Tobias let out a groan before answering. "I know...fuck! I know all right. I said it was stupid. I was eighteen and freaking the hell out. It was a huge mistake."

"Dude, no wonder she's been pissed at you for so long. Shit," he hissed, running a hand through his hair. "She's a better person than I am. Someone pulled shit like that, they'd be dead to me. You're lucky she's even talking to you now."

Tobias wanted to be pissed at what Eric was saying, but every part of him knew he was right. "Thanks for stating the obvious, man. Now you know the story."

As they headed out for the night, Tobias added, "Look, I know what I did was messed up, but I'm back now and I'm trying to fix it. That's all I got. It's the only thing I know to do."

Eric slapped him on the back, "For your sake, I hope you can. Tris is cool as anything. She's the type of woman that makes you consider getting into a serious relationship with."

Even though Tobias knew it was irrational, his muscles strung tight, "You try, and I'll break every bone in your body."

Eric's head fell back in laughter as he climbed into the truck.

**********PAGEBREAK********

"I don't care how much you love Taylor, if you request one more damn song, I'm going to punch you in the ovary," Tris said.

"Oh, come on," Christina said. "I haven't heard..."

"Shut it!" Tris yelled.

"Geez Tris," Christina said as everyone was laughing at the table. The night had been amazing so far. I could tell that Uriah wasn't one hundred percent with Tobias being back in the fold, but he was still able to act somewhat pleasant. When one of Christina's favorite songs came on, she drug Sarah and her on the dance floor.

As Tris was dancing she caught sight of Tobias with some girl standing at his side. Tris instantly hated her. His head fell back with a bark of laughter at something she whispered in his ear and her head constricted violently at the sound. Illogically jealousy flooded her system at seeing him with another woman.

Why couldn't she just get over him?

Christina caught her gaze and pointed over to the bar. Once she was next to Christina, she scowled at Tris and said, "No, Tris. Don't do this."

"Do what?"

"Don't give me that. You know what I'm talking about." Her gaze went to where Tobias was with that woman. Tears sprang to Tris' eyes and she blinked fast to keep them at bay.

"Damn it, I knew this was going to happen," Christina said.

"What is wrong with me, Christina? I don't want him, so why can't I just stop?" Tris said.

Christina leaned over and wiped the tears off Tris' face, "I don't know what to say. I wish I had the answers, but I don't. All I know is if you keep going like this, you're going to end up where you were before. You have to make a choice. You can either be friends with Tobias, and find a way to handle seeing him with other women, or you can cut the strings. Just accept that a friendship with him isn't possible and finally let him go once and for all."

"You're right, I know you are, but, I didn't think it would be this hard," Tris said.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but maybe it's time for you to really move on from Tobias," Christina said.

"Huh?"

"You haven't dated since...Well, you haven't dated in a real long time. Maybe it's tie to put yourself out there again. You're young, you deserve to find a guy who worships the ground you walk on. Preferably one you don't have such a tangled history with."

The idea of starting a relationship hadn't appealed to her in such a long time. Her friends knew why, so they never pushed, but considering Tobias was back in town, maybe it was time. There were so many things she had to take into consideration before she decided if she was ready. But the main thing was, she had to be sure that she was considering dating again for the right reasons.

At that moment, a guy walked up to her. "Hi, I'm Chase."

"I'm Tris," she responded. She noted that Christina had managed to disappear.

"It's nice to meet you, Tris. Can I buy you a drink?" Chase asked.

"Yeah, sure," she said. The guy looked like he had just stepped off the cover of GQ.

As they talked at the bar, Tris realized there was nothing between them. Sure he was gorgeous but there had to be more than that. They couldn't have been talking for more than ten minutes when Tobias came up to the bar and pushed his way between her and Chase. "You about ready to leave?" he asked in a hard clip.

"Uh, this is Chase," Tris pointed back and forth waiting for Tobias to acknowledge the other man. When he didn't, she glared and turned back to her bar companion. "Chase, the guy who rudely interrupted us is Tobias, an old friend."

Chase tried to be polite and extended his hand to shake. "How you doing man?"

Luke just let out a grunt and turned back to Tris, "You ready to go or what? Everyone is heading out."

Tris leaned around him and apologized to Chase, then grabbed Tobias' arm and pulled him away. "What the hell is your problem?"

"My problem is we're ready to leave and you're slowing us all down."

"Then go, no one's stopping you. I came in my own car," Tris said. "And besides don't you need to go and get that little piece you were talking to earlier?"

He leaned so close she could smell the scent of his cologne, "You jealous?"

"Not on your life, asshole. I'm done with this," Tris shoved past him and headed out to her car and drove off.

*****PAGEBREAK******

The next morning, Tris walked out of the kitchen at the diner, to see Tobias sitting at one of the tables. She went over to his table to get his order. "You still mad at me, Tris?"

"Depends, you done being an asshole?"

He gave her a devilish grin. "That depends. Are you planning on being alone with anymore strange men?"

"Tobias, you've got to stop this."

"Tris..."

She lifted her hand to cut him off and sat down across from him. "I'm serious. I've already told you that all we can be is friends and I can barely handle that most days. You can't go around intimidating guys that talk to me. It's not fair."

"I'm sorry, I was out of line and I won't do it again. I promise."

She nodded and finished taking the order and the next few days passed with no signs of Tobias. When Eric was in one day she asked him about Tobias.

"You don't know? His mom is in the hospital. She was drunk and had a seizure, she's better now but between his work and going to the hospital he's been preoccupied."

After work that day, she headed to where Tobias' apartment was. When he answered she walked in with a bag full of burgers and fries. "I figured you'd been dining on crap lately."

"Thank you," he sat down and ate while she sat across from him. He started talking about nothing and everything. Talking about his time in the Marines. He talked about his friendship with Eric and how he ended up with a temporary roommate. She laughed at some of his stories with Eric.

"How Evelyn doing?" Tris asked.

"Better, I guess," he answered he got up and took the food leftovers to the refrigerator.

"Tobias,"

"She's fine, she's drinking more and more and nothing will stop her from killing herself doing it," he said and she did what she would for anyone she pulled him into her for a hug. After a few seconds Tobias looked down at her face and slammed his mouth down on hers in a kiss. When her lips parted on a gasp, his tongue snaked in, and she was completely lost in the taste and feel of him.

"I don't think..." Tris said.

"Don't think...just feel with your heart," Tobias said.

It was her undoing.

She pushed up on the balls of her feet and leaned in, trying to get as close as humanly possible, swallowing down the groan Tobias released from deep in his throat. She fisted her hands in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer as his desire and need fed her own. He followed her direction perfectly, and grabbed her hips to lift her up on the counter. She wrapped her legs around his waist and threw her head back as his lips trailed down her neck to the sensitive spot right below her ear.

She wanted to feel all of him, his skin on her skin, his lips on her lips. She wanted him inside her more than she wanted air. He must have felt the exact same way, because the minute she thought his lips met her ear, "God, I missed you, Tris. So fucking bad." The sincerity and longing in his voice pushed her into overdrive. He wanted her as much as she wanted him.

She leaned back just far enough to rip her shirt over her head. His mouth came down on the upper swell of her breast as his hands snaked under her and lifted her off the counter. He continued his sensual assault as he walked out of the kitchen and into his bedroom. She let out a yelp as he tossed her onto the bed. He was on top of her instantly, sucking her nipple into a tight peak through the lace of her bra. Arching her back, she tried to bring herself even closer to him as his hand trailed down her stomach into the waistband of her shorts. He had them unbuttoned and was sitting up to remove them when her brain finally decided to join the party. Her hands shot down in an attempt to cover the faded scar on her lower stomach but she wasn't fast enough.

"What the hell is that?" he asked, pulling her hands away to study the scar more closely. "Tris, what happened?"

The look of concern on his face nearly brought tears to her eyes. "It's nothing. I had surgery a few years ago. Please Tobias, don't stop. I need you."

He drove back down in another kiss. "I need to taste you."

"Yes."

He kissed his way down her body, removing her bra when he got to it, then continued further until her reached her panties. He nuzzled his cheek against her inner thigh before slipping a finger inside her.

"Tell me you want me, Tris."

"I want you, Tobias."

She was having a hard time breathing with him touching her. Her panties quickly came off and his mouth was on her, teasing her clit as he slipped two fingers back in her. She was thrown over the edge into one of the best orgasms of her life. His name was the only word her brain could form as he kept at her, dragging out every ounce of pleasure he possibly could.

Before she knew it, he was above her, resting his weight on his forearms beside her head. "You're so beautiful." He entered into her with one stroke, stretching her around him,

"Fuck," he pushed himself to the hilt. "I don't know how I'm going to last. You feel so good."

Tris remembered instantly why it felt so much better than before. "Condom. Tobias, you aren't wearing a condom."

His eyes met hers, and the emotion she saw in them created a massive lump in her throat. "I'm clean, Tris. I swear to God."

He wanted to feel her with nothing between them, but she'd made that mistake once and she wasn't going to make it again. "I'm not on the pill, Tobias."

"Shit," he said, finally reaching into the nightstand drawer by his bed. He pulled out of her and quickly rolled the condom down his length. The whole process only took seconds before he was back inside her. He stared down into her eyes as he started moving at a pace so fast and hard her body shifted up the bed with each drive of his hips. She felt her climax starting to build back up and lifted her hips to meet him thrust for thrust.

"I've missed you so much," he whispered into her ear as he powered into her, in and out, over and over again until she was right at the edge.

"Don't stop, Tobias."

"Never." He moved faster and faster until, finally, she lost all control. Her head flew back, and her eyes screwed shut as the pleasure started to wash over her. "Look at me, Tris. I want your eyes on mine when you come."

She opened to half mast to meet his, and that was all it took for her to go over. She moaned his name as her body clenched around him.

"So fucking beautiful," he said, right before he groaned her name with his own release. He buried his face in her neck as they both came down, and the last thing she could recall before slipping into a blissed out sleep. "You're mine, Tris, and I'm not letting you go this time."

**********PAGEBREAK******

When Tris woke up, it took her a few moments to realize where she was and what had happened. She's had sex with Tobias, the one person she should have stayed away from. What the hell was she thinking? She had to get out of here and fast. Lifting Tobias' arm as slowly as she could, she slid out from under it to the edge of the bed. She was almost free when she felt herself jerked back against him.

"Where do you think you're going?" he whispered into her ear.

"It's late and I need to get home," Tris said.

"I know it's late but you're staying here tonight, now sleep," Tobias said.

"Tobias, this..." Tris said.

"I know, it didn't solve anything. We'll talk about this later. Now sleep." Then he pulled her to his side. Their issues were far from over, last night hadn't fixed anything.

*****PAGEBREAK**********

That next night Tris and the group, minus Tobias and Eric were at the club, dancing their asses off. Christina had taken one look at Tris and knew what had happened the night before. Tris begged her to drop it for now. Tris was shaking everything when she felt a pair of hands snake around her hips. "Do you have any clue how fucking good you look when you dance?"

Her brain malfunctioned as Tobias whispered in her ear. It felt so damn good to have him wrapped around her. "What do you think you're doing?" Tris asked as he slid his hands over her ass.

"What's it look like I'm doing?" he said in her ear as he traced his tongue along the sensitive cord of her neck. "I'm dancing with my girl."

"I'm not your girl," she mumbled weakly.

"In a few minutes I bet I can get you singing a different tune," he said.

"Tobias," she tried.

He brushed his lips gently against hers to silence her. "Just dance with me, Tris. I just need to feel you in my arms."

How could she say no to that? They spent several songs wrapped up in each other. She couldn't get past the feeling that it seemed right just to be held by him. "Do you know how much I have missed you?" he asked her as they swayed to one of the slower songs.

She buried her face in his neck to hide the tears. "Then why'd you leave?" Her voice broke at the end of the sentence, and Tobias ran his fingers through her hair in a calming gesture.

"Because I was stupid," he stated. "I loved you so damn much, but I thought I was no good for you. I swear, Tris, I really thought I was doing what was best for you."

She pulled out of his neck and stared up at him. "You loved me?"

He smiled down at her as he trailed his fingers down her cheek. "I still do, Tris. You're the only reason I came back."

She shook her head in disbelief as more tears fell. Tobias wiped them away, and pressed his lips to hers, and this time she didn't bother protesting. She wanted the kiss as much as he did, and she was done denying it. They stayed that way until the sound of a throat being cleared behind them broke into the moment. Tris pulled back to see all her friends staring. Christina looked the most concerned, but the rest had a grin on them. Eric included.

"Sorry to interrupt," Eric said with a chuckle. "But we're heading to the bar. You want to join us or continue giving everyone here a show?"

Tobias took her hand in his and they all went to the bar. Tris made her way over to Christina who started with, "If you're happy, I am for you. Just be careful, is all I'm saying."

"I love you, you know that?" Tris asked as the two friends hugged.

As Tris turned back to she saw Nita draped all over Tobias and to his defense, he looked like he was trying to detach her talons, but she wouldn't budge. "Hey Tobias, look like you have a little trash stuck to the front of your shirt."

Tobias' lips went into a smile and Eric choked on his beer before bursting out laughing. Nita wrinkled her nose at her and turned away. "You might want to get your hands off her man before she breaks your fingers," Sarah said.

"Her man? You've got to be kidding. Tobias, you've got to have better taste than that." Nita said.

Tobias finally got her away from him and said. "You need to move along."

Nita turned back to Tobias. "When you're done slumming you have my number."

"You know Nita, if you quit doing your makeup like a two dollar crack whore, maybe guys would pay you attention." Tris said.

"At least I'm not so pathetic I'd try and trap a guy by getting knocked up," Nita said.

 _ **(Sorry to end it here, it's late and well don't you love a good cliffhanger?)**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**(A/N-Special thanks to Bekki for beta reading this, and to everyone who reads, reviews, follows and favs this. I appreciate you all.)**_

* * *

All of the blood drained from Tris' face. She couldn't move or speak as Tobias looked at her with wide, bewildered eyes. "What the fuck is she talking about, Tris?"

"You bitch!" Christina screamed. "You did not just say that!" She lunged at Nita before anyone could react, punching her right in in the face. The two of them hit the ground in a pile of hair and failing limbs. Nita shrieked as Christina connected with her jaw for a second time.

It was like someone had hit a button on a remote, and everything was suddenly moving in slow motion. It felt like an eternity had passed before her legs finally started working again, but once they did Tris ran for the door like the hounds of hell were nipping at her heels. She knew Tobias wasn't far behind but she had to get out. She couldn't breath. The walls were closing in on her, sucking out all the air.

"Tris!" Tobias shouted as he ran after her. He caught up easily enough, and latched onto her elbow, spinning her around with a jerk. "What the fuck is she talking about?" he bellowed, making her wince.

She couldn't form a sentence as Tobias glared down at her, seething with anger. She tried pulling her arm away but his grip only tightened.

"Let her go, Tobias. Right now," Uriah said. After Nita's stunt, Tris had been so focused on her escape that she hadn't noticed all of her friends following them out of the bar. Uriah came up next to her and tried to get Tobias' attention. "I'm serious, man. Let her go."

"Come on, man, let's all just take a breath." Eric was standing behind Tobias to talk him down but Tobias wasn't having any of it."

"Who got you pregnant, Tris? Answer me!"

"I said let her go!" Uriah shouted.

"This is none of your business, Uriah. This is between me and Tris." Tobias said.

"Not when you're yelling at her like this, man. Just calm down." Uriah said.

Tobias looked over at Uriah then back at Tris. "Who got you pregnant, Tris?"

The lump in her throat threatened to choke her, but she somehow managed to croak out an answer. "You did," she whispered.

Tobias took a step back, dropping her arm like it burned him. After a minute of heavy silence, he finally asked. "Where's my kid, Tris?"

A sob ripped it's way from her chest. Christina must have finished her fight with Nita at some point, because at that moment she stepped up next to Tris and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. "Tobias, you need to relax, okay? This is not the time for this conversation."

He let out a humorless laugh. "Not the time? Are you kidding me? I just found out she had my kid, and I never knew about it. Where is my kid, Tris? Did you get rid of it?"

All the fear she felt moments ago left her body. Something inside her withered and died, and was replaced with an all too familiar icy numbness. The fact the he could accuse her of something so horrible told her exactly the kind of guy he really was. He hadn't changed at all, he was still as much an asshole now as he was then.

"Stand down, Tobias, before I knock you on your ass," Uriah might not have been as tall as Tobias, but what he lacked in height, he made up for in bulk.

"I'm going to find out what she did with my kid. Did you just pawn it off to someone else?" Tobias asked.

"That was it. Uriah's patience snapped with that. The only sounds she could make out over the blood rushing through her ears were those of flesh hitting flesh as Tobias and Uriah worked their hardest to rip each other to pieces. All Tris could so was stand, frozen in shock as two of the people she's known her whole life beat the hell out of each other. She vaguely recalled the screams of her friends begging them to stop as she stared at the destruction in front of her.

Will and Eric finally pushed their way in, and pulled the two of them apart. Uriah was sporting a busted lip and Tobias had a nasty looking gash through his left eyebrow. Both of them had bruises that were swelling up all over their faces.

"Calm down!" Zeke said, trying to get the two men to stop lunging at one another.

"I'm going to kill you, you motherfucker!" Uriah shouted. "Don't you ever talk to her like that. Do you hear me?"

Tobias struggled against Eric's hold with everything he had. "What the hell do you expect me to think, Uriah? I get back after ten years, and find out she had my kid and I never knew!"

All at once, Uriah stopped fighting against Will, and Tris could see his grip loosening. "Whose fault is that, asshole? You never picked up your phone or answered a single damn email from any of us. You want to know where your kid is? Visit Dauntless Cemetery."

His words caused Tobias' heart to stop.

"Uriah," Christina said with a ragged whisper. "No!"

Everyone around Tris stopped moving, including Tobias. "What?" he asked as all the fight drained out of him.

"You threw out accusations without even thinking. You know Tris, probably better than any of us. Did you, even once, think about how she might have suffered through after you abandoned her? You don't deserve her forgiveness, but she gave it to you anyway, and you repay her like this? That baby was the only thing that got her through your leaving, and when she lost it we were all terrified out of our minds that we'd lose her to."

Uriah stopped talking long enough to shake his head in disgust before issuing his parting shot. "You never should have come back. You're toxic."

With that, Uriah turned and walked away.

After Uriah walked away, everyone stood there staring between Tobias and her. Christina and Sarah had tears in their eyes, Will just hung his head. Zeke stood there feeling bad for both of them. Eric shuffled from foot to foot. Tobias was completely motionless for what felt like years before he finally addressed her.

"Tris, I..."

Tris slapped him across the face with everything she had in her, all the pain, the abandonment she felt, everything. "I didn't get rid of your kid, Tobias. You never had a kid, I did. You lost all rights to my child when you refused to answer my calls or emails so I could tell you I was pregnant. I had a baby that I loved more than anything in this world, and I lost her."

"Her?" he asked, tears welling up in his eyes. "It was a girl?"

"Yes," she answered, her voice cold and emotionless.

He raked his hands through his hair and hung his head. "Jesus, Tris..."

He reached for her, but she took a step back, "Don't touch me," she hissed. "From this moment on, you don't ever touch me again. You don't look at me, you don't talk to me. I want nothing to do with you, Tobias. You're nothing but poison, so far as I'm concerned you longer exist."

"Tris...you don't mean that. Please..."

"I mean it." She felt nothing but numbness filling that space where her heart used to be, and it reflected in her tone. "I never thought I could hate a person as much as I hate you. You left me, wouldn't take any of my calls to let you know about my daughter. And now you accuse me of something like that. You and Nita deserve one another."

Tris turned and walked away, not giving him a chance to say anything else.

"Tris," Christina called as she ran after her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm so far from okay, but I'm done with him." Tris said as she opened her car door.

"Let me stay with you tonight," Christina offered. "or come stay with me."

"I'll be alright, I won't do anything stupid. I just need to be alone," Tris declined.

"Are you sure?" Christina said.

"Yeah, I'll call you tomorrow." Tris said as the two friends hugged.

******PAGEBREAK******

By the time Tobias got his shit together and ran after Tris, he was too late. Her car was just pulling away and Christina was staring after it as tears streamed down her face. He came to a stop when she spun around to face him.

"You son of a bitch!" Christina said as she jumped up and slapped him so hard his head shot to the side, stars bursting behind his eyelids. He finally understood why Christina was so pissed at him and he deserved every bit of it.

"I'm sorry," he whispered pathetically. He didn't know what to say right now.

"You're sorry? Oh, that just makes everything better, doesn't it? How in the hell could you think she'd give up her baby?"

"I wasn't thinking," he replied. "Fuck! I know she wouldn't do something like that, but I was just so...Shit, I messed up again. How do I fix this, Christina? I know you hate me, and right now I hate myself even more, but you have to help me fix this." He'd never felt more desperate in his life.

"I'm not helping you with anything. I wanted so bad to think you were really capable of changing, but tonight you just proved me right. You are the worst human being on the face of the earth. Stay the hell away from, Tris."

She started to walk away but he grabbed her arm. "I'm begging you, Christina. Please, at least tell me what happened."

She remained silent for several seconds, indecision in her eyes. He knew he had to hear it, he just didn't know that hearing it would wreck him beyond repair. "The doctor called it placental abruption. She was nine months pregnant when she started bleeding heavily." Christina's face went pale as she spoke, and her voice started to shake. "I tried to get her to the hospital as fast as I could, but we didn't make it in time. The baby died, and we almost lost Tris because of all the blood she lost."

His heart slammed into a million pieces as he let out an agonized, "Oh god, no."

"She didn't even get a chance to hold her daughter before she had to put her in the ground. Now you see why you need to get out of her life? Everything about you is a reminder of what she lost." She pulled her arm away. "You're not good enough for her, Tobias," she called over her shoulder as she left him standing there in the parking lot.

He had been a father, maybe would have been a father had he been here. If he had been here would their daughter still be alive? She would be...nine now. In school.

"You okay, man?" Eric asked as he came up to him.

"No," Tobias stated. "I'm so far from okay, it's unreal." Eric nodded his head but remained silent. "Sarah told you what happened, didn't she? With the pregnancy?"

Eric let out a long sigh before answering, "Yeah. When you ran after her, Sarah filled me in. It was bad, really bad."

"Christina told me about the bleeding and Tris almost dying," Tobias said.

"There's more to it than that. I didn't get the long and drawn out of it, but from what Sarah said, I gather that Tris was in a real bad place for awhile after the baby died."

"My daughter," Tobias said. Would she have looked like him? Tobias knew without a shadow of a doubt, she would have been Tris' mini me. He rubbed his hands over his face and looked up at the black sky.

Eric placed a hand of support on his shoulder. "Come on, let's head home. You can get some sleep and maybe come up with a plan in the morning."

Tobias looked at Eric and let out a dry laugh. "I don't see me coming back from this one, Eric."

Eric shook his head and gave Tobias a look of pity. "I hope you're wrong, but I don't see how."

******PAGEBREAK*******

 **FLASHBACK**

"Maybe you shouldn't be standing up there. You said yourself you were feeling a little pain."

Christina was holding the ladder for Tris as she reached up to paint the last white butterfly on Thea's nursery wall. Tris wanted to make her room as beautiful and girly as possible. So the wall was pink with butterflies all over it. She was nine months and due in a matter of weeks. She was so anxious to meet her little girl, she couldn't wait to get her home and see her swaddled in her pretty pink blanket.

"It's just Braxton hicks, Christina. The doctor said it was totally normal at this stage in the pregnancy. Now hand me that stencil." Tris said and as she reached for it, a sharp pain cut through her abdomen. It hurt so bad if nearly took her off her feet, she thought she could wait out the pain, but after counting a minute, it hadn't subsided.

"What's wrong, Tris?" Christina asked, clearly freaking out.

Tris got down off the ladder quick. "I don't know...god it hurts." When she looked at Christina she knew something was wrong.

"Tris, oh god you're bleeding."

"Christina, I need you to drive me to the hospital. We have to go now," Tris said.

Christina didn't hesitate. She got her out of the house and into her car, and as she sat down in the passenger seat, Tris tried her best to keep her eyes open, but with each passing second it became harder and harder. The last thing she remembered before passing out was reaching down to stroke her stomach as tears streamed down her face.

"It's okay, baby," she spoke to her belly. "Mommy's going to get you through this. Just hang on Thea, I love you so much." After that, everything went black."

******PAGEBREAK***

 **PRESENT TIME**

A few days later Tobias was fixing a few things around his mom's house, when she walked up to him, and noticing his mood asked him. "So, I'm guessing you found out about Tris' baby?"

"You knew about that?"

"Everyone knew."

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"Sit down, Tobias." After he did she continued. "I didn't do right by you, I know that. I've been a bad mother and I'm going to ask for your forgiveness even if I don't deserve it. I should have stopped your father all those times he raised a hand to you. You never should have been raised like that, and me being a drunk didn't help. You're not your father, not in the least Tobias. You're so much stronger than he was. The kindness in your heart makes you the man you are. You don't have anything like him in you."

Tobias was quiet.

"I'm checking myself into a clinic next week, I'm getting help, for myself and hopefully to repair the damage I did between us," Evelyn said as Tobias then got up and they hugged one another. After a bit they sat at the kitchen table.

"Yes, I knew about the baby. I heard the rumors and saw Tris, walking around heartbroken. I know I should have somehow got a hold of you, but I was drunk most of the time still am. That's no excuse, I know and I know it doesn't make sense but I was angry at you for leaving her like you did. She was sick Tobias. Real sick. It was obvious that pregnancy wasn't easy on her. But she tried. She didn't have you, but she had her baby to look forward to."

A fresh wave of pain crashed over him, thinking about how Tris suffered because of his absence. How his...daughter was the one thing holding her together. Sucking in a deep breath he asked, "Was it bad...when she lost..."

"Yeah, it was bad for awhile. But she's not me, she's strong and got a will of steel."

"She hates me, and I don't think I'll ever be able to fix it."

Evelyn took his hands in hers, "She doesn't hate you. She loves you, and she's mad as hell about that. That just proves that you have something to fight for still. You fight for her, the girl became your other half the day we moved here. She'll be your other half until the day you die, and you'll be hers."

As Tobias left his mother's house that day he kept thinking about what his mother had said. Getting Tris to forgive him was going to be the hardest thing he'd ever done, but his mother was right. He wasn't complete without her. He would do anything to take this hurt from her he had caused, he knew that outrunning sniper fire was going to be easier than what he had to do.

Going to Christina for help was like walking into a lion's den wearing a meat suit, but he had to do what he had to do. Because Tris was worth it.

 _ **A/N-Happy New Year's!**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**(A/N-Sorry for the delay, I've got a project coming soon so I've been working on that. I want to thank Bekki for beta reading this and ty to all who read, review, follow and fav this story. Tobias is just on the beginning aspects of working on trying to fix things with Tris.)**_

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Tobias would rather have his nails ripped out with pliers and have salt dumped on the wounds than do what he knew he had to do. As he sat on her front porch, he had to keep working on his breathing to keep from throwing up. He'd been sitting there for over an hour, waiting for her to get home from work, and the closer it got to the time she should arrive home, the more his anxiety twisted in his guy, making him nauseous. When she finally pulled up in the driveway, he wanted to take off running. He'd done two tours in Iraq, yet the idea of a confrontation with Christina scared the ever loving crap out of him.

When her eyes landed on him, he knew it was too late. She glared daggers as she crossed her arms and stomped up to him. "I'm so glad you're here, Tobias." She said with an evil smile plastered on her face. "I just got me a new handgun, and I've been dying to break it in. You'll make an awesome moving target."

He ignored her barb and pushed forward with what he came to do. "We need to talk," was all he responded with.

"We have nothing to talk about. You need to get your ass off my property before I shoot a few extra holes in it."

Rubbing at the tension building in the back of his neck, he held his ground. "Look, I know that you hate me and, honestly, now that I know the truth I don't blame you one damn bit, but I've got things I need to tell you that might make you understand a few things. Is it too much to ask for you to hold off the fire power until we're done?"

She studied him for several long seconds, and he could see her fighting the desire to shoot his ass full of a few extra holes. There was a minuscule part somewhere deep, deep down inside of her that people probably didn't know existed, that wanted to hear him out, and he was praying that part won. Finally, she responded. "Fine. You've got exactly five minutes to tell you story." She turned and unlocked her front door, and right after it opened, she turned back to him before entering. "But if I don't like what I hear I demand the right to cut off your balls."

He had no doubt she meant that. She'd gladly rip them off and keep them in a jar by her bed if she could get away with it. "Yeah...I'm not going agree to that, Christina."

She shrugged her shoulders and pushed through her front door."It was worth a shot."

He was shocked when the door didn't hit him in the face. She was actually letting him into her house. He glanced around to make sure there wasn't some sort of Tobias Eaton voodoo shrine in her living room before entering. "What no altar or Tobias doll with pins in the eyes? I'm a little disappointed."

She kicked her heels off by the stairs and removed her jacket. "I keep my shrine or torture in the guest room, don't worry."

"I'd expect nothing less," he took in her house. There were pictures hanging on the walls and resting on the fireplace mantel. Some where of her and Tris, others with the whole gang.

"You going to stand there at the pictures all day or you going to tell me what you came here for? The clock is ticking." She tapped her watch to drive the point home.

He walked over to the recliner and took a seat across from where she was sitting on the couch. Her legs were curled up under her, all casual and confident. He leaned down and braced his elbows on his knees, that he made eye contact finally.

"A couple of months before I enlisted, my dad came to see me. He wanted money," Tobias said.

"I don't understand. I thought you never saw your dad again after you took off." Christina said.

"I didn't want anyone to know. That's why I never said anything," Tobias said.

"Not even to Tris?" she asked.

"Especially not to Tris. I never thought I was good enough for her. She had this light inside of her, and I was the pathetic, damaged kid who clung on to her like a lifeline. She was the one good thing I had in my miserable life, and when my dad left, I was so glad. Not because I wouldn't have to put up with him anymore, but because maybe with him gone, I'd finally have a chance at being good enough for her."

He looked at Christina, she was examining him with what he could only guess was a combination of pity and sorrow. He didn't come here to make her feel sorry for him, so he had to push forward. "I gave him everything that I had. I wanted him to get the hell out and never come back, so I didn't even blink. I hoped it would keep him from coming back, but it didn't."

"He came back?" she asked in a hushed voice.

"Yeah. A few weeks later, he came back, drunk as shit, demanding more money. I didn't have anything left, and I had no way in hell I was going to let him anywhere near my mother. He wouldn't leave. Just kept going on about what a weak person I was and how he regretted letting my mom keep me."

He scrubbed his hand over his jaw as he recalled that night in glaring detail. "I just lost it. I beat the ever crap out of him my mother's living room. She came home and found the two of us going at it an threatened to call the cops if he didn't get out of her house. Since he had warrants out, he didn't blink before he bailed again."

Christina surprised the hell out of him by leaning forward and placing her hand on top of his. "I'm sorry, Tobias."

Not wanting to see the sympathy in her eyes, he stared down at his shoes and told her the rest. "Mom ran upstairs to get the first aid kit for my hand, and I made sure he left the house. The last thing he ever said to me was that I was just like him. A miserable, good for nothing piece of shit that would blacken everything I touched."

Admitting everything out loud left him raw and bleeding but he needed to get Tris back, and this was the only way he knew how. "At that moment, I knew he was right. I was never going to be good enough for her. I freaked out after that night with her. I kept picturing her broken down and miserable, just like my mom. I couldn't risk her losing that light because she settled for me. So I did the one thing I knew would push her away." He looked up and caught Tris quickly swiping at her cheeks. "Are you crying?"

She let out a strangled laugh. "What? I can show emotion when it's warranted, jerk."

He let out a laugh of his own. "I didn't even know you had tear ducts."

With a roll of her eyes, she teased, "And there goes our Hallmark moment." Christina sniffled through her smile and gently said, "Go on."

"Honest to God, I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought if I cut off all the contact, Tris would find a new guy that actually deserved her. I thought she'd be happy. Lord knows she deserved it. If I could go back in time I would have done everything differently. And if I knew about the baby..." He raised his hand when she started to interrupt.

"It's no one's fault buy mine that I didn't know. I didn't give her the chance to tell me, and I'll regret that until the day I die. But I need you to know that I'd give my life to take away the pain she's has gone through." He leaned forward so she could see how serious he was. "I'll do anything, Christina. I'd walk through fire for her. I would die if I could and switch places with our daughter so that Tris could have her. I know I have no right but I'm desperate, I'm begging you for your help to help me get her back."

He was terrified that, even though he'd just spilled his guts, she would still kick him out the door. He wouldn't blame her if that were the case, but she was the only person who could help me get through to Tris. He wasn't above admitting that.

"Well, damn," she huffed. "I really don't want to like you."

He through back his head and let out a laugh. "Does that mean you'll help me?"

She blew out a breath and looked at him with a smirk. "Yeah, I'll help you. But I want something in return."

Uh oh.

"What's that?" he asked cautiously.

"You see, I've got these speeding tickets..."

****PAGEBREAK****

Tris was having a long day at the diner and it got worse when Nita came in, "I just wanted to let you know I'm pressing charges against you and Christina."

"I'm not sure what you're talking about, Nita," Tris said as she rolled her eyes at her.

"Oh really?" Nita said as she turned to the customers there. "How many of you were at Zeke's the other night?" More than half of the people raised their hands. "Do any of you recall the events of that night?"

Molly Anley spoke up then. "I don't recall you and Christina doing anything, but I clearly remember Nita tripping and falling on her face." Molly looked in Nita's direction. "Sweetie, you really should rethink heels that high if you're planning on getting that drink. It's just not wise."

Tris tried her hardest not to laugh, she wished she had her phone on her to capture this moment.

"Are you kidding me?" Nita shrieked. "You all know what those two bitches did to me. Just look at my face!"

"Now there's no need for name-calling. If you can't be polite to our little Tris here, then you just need to be on your way. This is a fine family establishment. You'll do well to remember that," Mr. Owens spoke up as well.

God, Tris loved him.

"Unbelievable!" Nita's shrill voice was really starting to give Tris a headache. "Well, Tobias was there and I know he'll back me up."

Right at that moment, as if he'd just been waiting for the perfect opportunity, Tobias strolled through the doors of the diner with a determined look on his face. He was heading straight for her when he caught sight of Nita. She immediately grabbed on to his arm with a death grip and plastered a pathetic look on her face.

"Honey, you know what Tris and Christina did to me the other night. Everyone is claiming I slipped and fell, but I know the truth and I want to press charges. You'll help me, won't you baby?" She batted her fake eyelashes at him and Tris had to fight not to throw up in her mouth.

Tobias looked at her with a blank expression then glanced back at Nita. "Nita, you can't press charges against someone just because you got drink and fell down in a bar. The law doesn't work that way."

"But..." she stuttered. "You know. You saw what they did to me."

Tobias pulled his arm from her grasp and came to stand beside Tris. "I didn't see anything," he stated in a voice so cold it sent a shiver down her spine. "But I do know one thing, if you weren't such a conniving bitch, maybe the people in this town would back you up when you needed them."

"Now, if you are finished, get the hell out of Tris' diner." He stalked over to where Nita stood, and if his size wasn't enough to intimidate, what came out of his mouth next most certainly was. "And don't come back. If I ever see you near Tris or Christina again, I'll arrest you for harassment."

"This is bullshit!" Nita yelled.

When Tobias got in her face, Tris was almost a little scared for her. "Woman, are you deaf or just plain stupid? Get. The. Hell. Out."

Nita spun on her heels and practically ran out of the diner. It wasn't until she was gone that Tobias turned his attention back to her.

"You are about as welcome here as she is, Mr. Eaton," Tris told him in a monotone voice. Just the sight of him caused an ache so acute it hurt to inhale.

"Tobias," Tobias said.

"What?" Tris asked.

"You called me Mr. Eaton, you have only done that when you're really pissed at me."

"I can't stand the sight of you," Tris said.

He leaned down, his face going soft and gentle. Damn it, but it was a really good look on him. When he reached and tucked a strand of hair that had fallen from her ponytail behind her ear she couldn't suppress the tremble it caused. "I don't care if you can't stand the sight of me. I don't care if you hate me until the day you die. I'll always be your Tobias."

She couldn't breath when he looked at her like that. She didn't have any fight left in her. "Please leave," she whispered weakly. She didn't have any witty comebacks or mean, biting comments. She just needed him to leave for her own piece of mind.

He nodded his head and the heartbroken expression on his face stripped her raw. He walked out the door without turned around, and it took all of her strength not to run after him.

***PAGEBREAK****

Tris sat on the bright green grass and ran her fingers over the grave marker. She'd picked a pretty, shaded spot for her precious baby that close to her parents and grandmother so that she would never be alone.

"Hi, sweetie."

She would often come here and talk to her daughter, feeling her spirit surround her. "I don't know what I'm doing honey. I'm so damn lost right now. Your Daddy really is a good guy." She traced the name in the grave marker _Thea Grace_. "If you were here he'd be tied around your little finger. He would have been a great daddy."

Tris sat silent for several minutes. "I don't want to love him," she said in a hushed voice. "But I can't stop."

"No one said you had to," the unexpected voice gave her a start, and she jumped, spinning around on the seat of her pants to see Christina standing behind her. "I thought I'd find you here," she said as she sat down next to Tris. "Her there, honey bunch," she said to Tris' daughter, running her finger through the carving of her name.

"What are you doing here, Christina?"

She took a deep breath and met her eyes. "You're my best friend. I know you, and I know this stuff between you and Tobias is really taking its toll on the both of you."

Tris looked at her curiously. "Both of us? How would you know it's taking a toll on him?"

The expression that crossed her face morphed to one of worry. "Okay, I'm going to tell you something, but you need to promise not to freak out on me. Deal?"

It was safe to say she was making Tris nervous. "What's going on?"

She turned away before answering. "Tobias came to see me yesterday."

"What do you mean, he came to see you?"

"He came to my house. He wanted to tell me some things in the hopes that I'd change my opinion of hi and maybe help change yours too."

"He must have a death wish. He should know better than that." When Christina didn't respond, Tris' head jerked around to find her worrying her bottom lip. "Christina?"

"Ithinkyoushouldspeaktohim." She spoke in such a rush that all of her words blended together.

"You what?"

"You promised not to freak out on me," she said as she held her hands up.

"I didn't promise you shit. What the hell do you mean you think I should talk to him, Christina? You're the one who's practically made it your life's mission to make him miserable. You hate Tobias."

"I didn't say I hated him...hell I did hate him for what he did to you." She looked at Tris beseechingly. "But he told me some things that explain so much, Tris. You owe it to yourself to hear what he has to say." She took both of Tris' hands in hers. "This is killing you. You aren't being fair to yourself. I don't know anyone who deserved happiness as much as you do. You're the only one standing in the way of it."

There was no way Tris could be mad at her when she spoke with so much heart. Christina was typically sarcastic by nature, so when she spoke with so much emotion it tore at her. "Traitor," Tris joked in an attempt to lighten the heavy mood.

"You know I'm always on your side." Christina leaned over and wrapped her in a hug, and they sat there for a while, just looking at Thea's marker. "She'd have been so lucky to have the two of you as parents."

"Tobias and I might drive each other insane at times, but I don't doubt for a second that Thea would have had more love than any child could handle."

Christina grinned and kissed her temple. "The two of you would have driven her freaking crazy. She would have had to run to her Auntie Christina's on a regular basis just to escape being hugged to death."

Tris' heart felt lighter just listening to Christina talk about Tobias and her as parents.

"So, you're going to talk to him?" Christina asked.

"I'll think about it," Tris said.

"Good. Well, here's your chance then," Christina said.

"What?" Tris asked as she turned to see Tobias enter the graveyard.

He was heading right at her, right at their daughter's grave.


	8. Chapter 8

_**(A/N-Special thanks to Bekki for beta reading this. And ty for all who read, review, follow and fav this.)**_

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Tobias watched her from a distance, wanting to call out to her with relief before she disappeared again, but he saw her kneel down and he knew why.

His daughter's grave.

Something opened inside him, a chasm so big and empty he could not contemplate how it could ever be filled. From his vantage point, he saw her lips move, saw her work something in her hands, saw the glint of sunlight on glass and felt the hiss of his breath through his teeth—heard the crunch of gravel underfoot as his feet moved forward of their own accord.

He watched as Christina moved away from where she was, giving him and Tris time alone at their daughter's grave.

"Hello, Tris," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "I came to see..." his voice caught, "I came to see her grave."

She didn't reply, whether from the shock of his sudden appearance or because there was nothing to say. He looked down at the stone, at its simple words.

Thea Grace Eaton, it read, together with a date and, beneath it, the words: Another angel in heaven.

And even though he'd known, even though it had made his job easier to find the grave, it still staggered him. "You gave her my name."

"She's your daughter too."

His little girl.

And he fell to his knees and felt the tears fall for all that had been lost. If only he'd stayed with her, if he had only answered her call, just one. Would his little girl have made it? He will never know and it's all his fault. His little girl was dead because of him. Because he was a coward. He had hurt his little girl's mother and in turn it had killed his daughter.

His mouth opened, and he let out a silent scream, no noise until the very end. This was his punishment for his stupidity. And for his cruelty to Tris. He bowed his head and his whole body shook with pain.

Tris let him cry. She said nothing, did nothing, but when finally he looked up, he saw the tracks of her own tears down her cheeks.

"Why didn't I listen to you, just once. She might be here right now," his words were anguished, wrenched from a place deep inside him. "'I said some dreadful things. I accused you of dreadful deeds."

"It was a shock. You didn't know."

"Tris, do not feel you must make excuses for me. I didn't listen. You tried to tell me and I didn't listen. It was unforgivable of me." He shook his head.

She couldn't say anything to that.

"I bet she was as pretty as you," Tobias said.

She looked up at him then, her eyes spilling over with tears. "She was beautiful, Tobias, you should have seen her. Her skin was perfect. The day of her funeral I woke up and they told me the news. Grams and Christina were there for me as they brought her in for me to hold her for the last time."

Oh God, he thought. Their baby had laid her arms after she had been born.

Oh God.

"I'm sorry you had to find out the way you did. I'm so sorry. Everything I've done seems to have turned out badly," Tris said.

"No," he said with a sigh, gazing down at her, "I believe that's my territory."

She blinked over watery eyes, confusion warring with the pain of loss.

"Will you walk with me a while? I need to talk to you and I'm not sure Thea would want to hear it." Tobias said.

With the merest nod of her head, she let him lead her down through the cemetery. She blinked into the wind, half wondering if she was dreaming, if she'd imagined him here with the power of her grief, but no, just a glance sideways confirmed it was no dream. He stood solid alongside her, his face so stern as he gazed over the town.

It was good he'd come to meet his daughter.

It hurt that he hadn't said he'd come to see her but it was good he had come. One final chance to clear the air surrounding their baby's brief existence.

Maybe now they could both move on.

Maybe.

They stood together in a silence of their own thoughts while Tobias wondered where to begin. There was so much he had to explain, so much to make up for. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried, until today.

And suddenly he knew what he had to say. "Tris," he said, taking her hands in his, cold hands he wanted to hold and warm for ever, "I have wronged you in so many ways."

She smiled and he, who deserved no smile and certainly none from this woman, thought his newly exposed heart would break. "I'm glad you came to see Thea." He noted that she didn't dispute the fact that he'd wronged her. But there was no disputing it. He knew that now.

"I came to see you too," he said, and her eyes widened in response, "to see if you might understand just a little of why I acted as I did, even if those actions are unforgivable. I know I could not hope for your forgiveness, but maybe a little understanding?" He shrugged. "My father was abusive towards my mother and myself and I was so scared that one day I would turn into him. And in a way my fears have come true, I said some awful, unforgivable things about you. Now that my head is clear, I know you would never have given our child away. I know you would have fought forever to keep her. I know you did. I was such an idiot for what I did to you in the past and to Thea by not being here when you both needed me to be. I know that decision will haunt me forever. I also was a fool for saying those things I said to you. I know you love our child and I know it broke you to loose her like you did. I will also hold that with me that I wasn't here when that happened."

Tris could say nothing at the moment, taking in his words.

"It's why I deserve not knowing about our child until now," Tobias said as he looked back to where her grave was. "Had she lived she would have been better off without me in her life. "I can never make up to you all the wrongs I have committed. I'm so sorry."

For a few moments she said nothing, and he imagined that any time now she would pull her hands from his, thank him for his explanation and justifiably remove herself from his life once again. This time for good.

But her hands somehow remained in his. And then came her tentative question. "Why were you so afraid of treating me like your father did you and your mother?"

He looked into her eyes, those grey pools that he had come to love, along with their owner. "Because I love you, Tris. And I know you will not want to hear this from me—not after all that has happened—all that I have subjected you to. But I had to come and see you, to apologize."

She looked up at him incredulously. "You love me?"

He wasn't surprised she didn't believe him. It was a miracle she hadn't slapped him again for saying it. "I do. I'm an idiot and a fool and every type of bastard for the things I've said to you and done to you, but I love you, Tris. I know that you are too good for someone like me. That you deserve better. Much better."

"You might be right," she said, fresh tears springing from her eyes, and his freshly opened heart fell to his feet. "Maybe I do deserve better. But damn you, Tobias it's you who I love. It's you I want to be with."

Could a man die of happiness? he wondered as he cradled her face in his hands, letting her words seep through his consciousness, all the way through the layers of doubts and impossibilities, all the way through to his heart. "Tris," he whispered, because there was nothing better he could think of to say, not when her lips were calling.

He loved her.

Tris could see it in his eyes, could feel it in his gentle touch. Could feel it in the shimmer of sea salt air between them and in the connection of his heart to hers. Their lips meshed, the salt of their tears falling on each other and she tasted their shared loss and the heated promise of life and love.

"I love you," he said. "Oh God, it's taken too long to realize it, but I love you, Tris. I know I don't deserve to ask this, but will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

His words, his rich voice, vibrated through her senses and her bones and found a joyful answer in her heart, her tears a rapturous celebration. "Tobias, yes! Yes, I will be your wife."

He gathered her up and held her tight, so tight as he spun her around until that she felt part of him. She was part of him. And when he put her down on her feet again, it was to look seriously into her eyes. "Perhaps, after we are married, if you like, then maybe we could try again. For another child. A brother or sister for Thea."

She shuddered in his arms. "But what if..." He looked down at her with such an air of hope that it magnified her fear tenfold. "I'm afraid, Tobias," she said, looking up the hill towards the plot where their one child already lay. "I don't think I could bear it if it happened again. I don't think I could come back from that."

"No." He rocked her then, wanting to soothe away her fears. "No. It won't happen again."

"How do you know that?"

"I don't. I wish to God I could promise you that it won't happen again, but I can't. But what I can promise you is this, that if it did happen again, if life chose to be so cruel again, that this time you would not be alone, that I will be there alongside you, holding your hand. And this time your loss would be my loss. Your tears would be my tears. I will never let you go through something like that alone again."

The sheer power of his words gave her the confidence to believe him. The emotion behind his words gave her the courage to want to try.

"Perhaps," she said plaintively, lifting her face to his, "when we are married..."

And he growled at the courage of this woman and he pulled her close and kissed her again and held her tight, against the wind tugging at their clothing. He knew now that they could overcome against the worst that life could throw at them, as long as they were together.

And knew that whatever came their way, their love would endure for ever.

EPILOGUE

They were married six months later in a quiet ceremony with just their immediate friends. And a year after that, with a watchful Tobias there to let Tris squeeze his hands their little girl Hope was born.

"I want to see her, please Tobias," Tris said as soon as she was born.

"They are cleaning her up and then she'll be in your arms, love," Tobias said. They were still finishing up with Tris.

"Watch her, please," Tris said as Tobias only left his wife's side to watch his little girl. Seconds later the nurse brought Hope over to Tris, who cradled her in her arms.

"She's beautiful," Tris said.

"Just like her mother and her older sister," Tobias said, never forgetting their firstborn. The room was cleared out and he was now laying down on the bed beside Tris and their daughter.

"She has your eyes," Tris said.

"As long as she has your heart," Tobias said as he kissed his little girl's cheek before kissing his wife's.

They had grown up together, shared secrets, shared pain and shared love. They had been separated and grown up some more without the other, but the love they had for one another had never truly gone away. And now it was growing even more.

They may have had shattered hearts in their lives, but now their hearts were truly one.

 _ **THE END.**_


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